hahaha i know i have tendency to treat my blog like a tumblr when i have a tumblr but i'm grey and rojak like that.
i was just telling Wall this ytd (: though maybe not just bedroom wall but ceiling too
SUNDAYYYYY ALREADY.
Gonna be posting a ton of stuff from tumblr,
mostly from here.
i like colour instead of just black sometimes.
The girl who doesn't get nicely dressed up everyday. The girl who has that boyish side to her. The girl who doesn't have a ton of pictures of her showing off a ton of skin and puckering up her lips online. The girl who's willing to run around in the rain without caring about her hair. The girl who will stay up with you all night on the phone. The girl who's willing to play video games with you, and not stop until she beats you. The girl who doesn't make every guy's head turn. The girl who not every single person will call pretty. The girl who lives in her own little world along with a few other people. The girl who doesn't care what people think. The girl who sat there and listened to you, about anything, always.
if i could pick anyone in the world,
it would still be you.
i'm in this whole lovergirl mood now (re:lovergirl mood meaning- loveyhappytheworldisawesomeyouareawesomejoyyy)
and i really feel like my heart is smiling
& it's going to burst out of my chest.
you've heard this all before, but
you make me feel really special
and every day with you is like fireworks (inmyheart)
awsm
so life has been pretty awesome. i'm still reeling in happiness every day now
for nearly three months
which is pretty awesome.
and yeah i know how zzz two pretty awesomes are in an opening paragraph,
but yeahhhh pretty awesome. (or three right. lol)
last night was the most epic night of recess week.
hung out with the usuals near paradiz
and ended up getting stuck in lift for nearly an hour.
it was pretty damn epic
if you can imagine 11 people getting stuck in a lift.
it was crammy and yeah we thought we were gonna die (hahahahurr)
so it was pretty memorable i must say.
needless to say
we got out unscathed but yeah, hahaha.
memories man.
also, atwalless lost his wallet :/
which is horribleeeee.
but yeah just hoping whoever picked it up has the decency to either look him up
or hand it over to the police.
like soon.
among other thoughts,
i really wanttt to finish my 203
but i have BARELY
(and i mean, barely) started.
also lastnight was awesome.
one of the best nights everrrrr. period.
i am also beginning to question traditional notions of "giving too much"
especially in the context of myself.
because i honestly cant seem to realise when i'm giving too much
until it starts to hurt.
so i guess the saying,
give until it hurts does make sense.
i doubt the effectiveness of hurt as a gauge though,
considering it's effects sometimes.
on an unrelated note
(and this is just a random thought)
we also want to think that the people we love will be the ones who understand us the best
(and when i say we, you all really know that i mean, me lol)
and sometimes i wonder if this is more an expectation or a given
and whether it's even necessary?
i guess it is though right,
wouldnt you be killing yourself every day if the person you love wasnt sensitive to your mood or whatever?
i'm now just blogging whatever comes to the top of my head
so it's going to be mad random
(just tahan?) haha.
it's 26 degrees out now
and it's fffreezing man.
i also cant wait to go back to hall tmr
(hall is my haven/space/zone, whichever is most apt vocab wise)
i also can safely say
that i have never been this happy before.
and now i'm going to take this to a separate post.
Friday, October 22, 2010
your love will be safe with me.
i wanna do this man
okay so it's thursday of the hols and i'm blogging like what,
three consecutive days in a row?
(i'm on a streakkkk)
(:
had an Innovation Workshop with the Idea Factory
for St Hilda's Secondary School toady.
it was fun working with kids again
and i must admit i do enjoy pushing them
and getting them to develop ideas.
there's something pretty amazing about discovering how a child thinks,
how raw their ideas are,
and how beautiful it is that way.
there's also this child cheekiness that is just so endearing,
not to mention adorable to say the least.
(:
it is also somewhat nostalgic to see some kids so distracted
and carefree
and i guess i feel like i'm remembering how it's like to be a kid through them
though it is extremely strenous on me as a facilitator (i do admit)
my voice is one kind of going away now.
lol, but it was worth everything (:
(i know i always say it's damn hard to work with kids but at the same time
i always find myself drawn to them and thinking that at the end of the day it's worth it.)
(it's ironic like that, but still i dont wanna be a teacher, lol.)
(:
got a lift to ashley's place after that to meet atwallace
(there is an epic pool at his condo)
and then we had dinner at wismaaaa.
northern indian yummmmmm.
kino was closed,
as was taka and about every other store in ngee ann city,
so we walkedwalkedwalked through Ion to Bordersssss.
which closed at 10 so it wasnt so badddd.
Then we grabbed Starbucks-
but not before a woman could spill her cup of iced coffee all over my feet
(zzz i am not only a pseudo ditz myself,
but it would seem that i am a magnet for ditziness,
this is awesome zzz)
it was all good after i cleaned up lol.
i also saw some workers putting up pink stars onto the trees at Orchard road.
CHRISTMAS DECO.
like seriously.
PINK SPIKY STARS.
for christmas deco.
awesome much.
and yesss christmas is comingggg christmas is cominggg christmasss is coming
(please start queuing hehe)
And this they-are-putting-up-christmas-deco-already-yayyyyy hype is beyond cheap thrill because christmas also means that finals are overrrr
(hi i know i am kinda farfetched cos -lol midterms arent even over yet heh)
tmrrrrrrr is going to fly by
gotta head back to hall
(AGAIN, third time this week. lol)
and this time i will remember to take my headband (HURR)
and thennnn
there's sarah and nad's art show
which i am SO anticipating! (:
and then i get to see the council juniors and teachers
and it will be awesome
because SR is awesome that way.
i have never felt more gratitude to a school,
then i do to SR.
(really, really)
i can explain this phenomenon but it will take much longer than a single blog post,
so i shall attempt to do this another dayyyy.
i survived today on less than 5 hours of sleep,
(amazing)
so okay i shall TRY to sleep soon.
(knowing me, this aint gonna happen)
dudessss
it's friday already (damn)
recess week totally flew by,
like, fleeting is the word that comes to mind.
imma enjoy this weekend with books leisure baby cousins art sleep atruckloadofhappy and love
eventhough i still have yet to complete my 203 essay.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
YOU'RE EPIC LIKE THAT
Before you can look to the future, we must look to the past. (:
I was born in 1991. In the early years life was all about going to the botanic gardens, playgrounds, beaches, wearing gaudy dresses and florals, falling of slides, climbing on swings, collecting albums and albums of stickers… Years were a bright red and blue of lego blocks, mummy’s homemade chocolate cakes for birthdays and riding my giant tiger soft toy. Later the Spice Girls took over and shiny blue nail polish was the most awesome shade ever. I remember playing with barbie dolls and reading enid blyton books every day. It was a good period in my life, things were simple, no commitments or serious consequences, no worries or paranoia apart from losing my toys i guess?
Although many, many things have changed over the years i believe it is soooooo important to hold tight onto that child like sense of awe at your surroundings (this is more than cheap thrill okay). Things are going to keep on changing in the future but if i can keep perspective on that one simple quality, i know i’ll still be the same person. (: and i really like the thought of growing up, but there being a part of me that still collects stickers, combs my My Little Pony’s hair and feeds swans at the Botanic gardens.
hi i'm a lovergirl today
please excuse this dose of happy+love posttt
(everyone should be allowed to indulge in somethinglikethis every once in awhile hehe)
(i make my own rules lol)
HI, YOU
you've got me gushing over how cute you are.
i look at your facebook photos in every attempt to see what i've missed out on in your life.
photos are memories yes.
and it makes me smile like a moron when i look at every photo i have of you
whether it's playing monopoly deal, eating chips, or using your mac.
when i look at you and you look at me
you look right at my heart.
and you give me this warmfuzzyspecialasever feeling
that i really cant describe aptly
it's like a million butterflies flying out of a poppyfield
(that's the imagery i get lol)
you make me feel like i'm 5, 8, 10, 12, 15 again,
and then i'm 19
and if all we can have is forever,
then i think we should start right now.
i wanna hold on to this happiness
i wanna hold on to you.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I've been thinking bout what i wanna do, where my degree is concerned, cos there's journ, broadcast, pr, advertising, comm research.
and in the course of the week, i've somehow been exposed to a range of material (in various forms of media) that have me slanted towards both journ and photojourn. i can do this. i want to do this.
i now have this there's so much i want to do feeling. and it's not a there so much i want to do NOW feeling, it's a there's so much i want to do now, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and every year.
there's so much that can be fixed in this world. we've gotta start somewhere i guess. i've gotta start somewhere. i dont doubt that i contribute to this generic "shit" on many levels. and journ+photojourn isnt some one shot attempt to offset all of this.
i've always had a calling to want to do something about problems. to want to make some difference eventhough i feel so small and even if whatever i can do is just a ripple in the ocean. i guess on an every day level i can see how i do it with my friends. being there and helping them out. and i want to take this to a higher level.
from reading about this and this and watching War Photographer (see: this) on monday, i dont need anymore of a push.
i feel awesome now.
i'm brimming with ideas and potential
like a bottle of fizzy drink and i've just been shaken.
i cant wait to start.
i'm gonna work for this.
it's recess week but it's honestly only ONE week.
and like tmr's already wednesdayyy.
spent monday in hall slacking and spend tuesday morning filming.
for ahmad and adam's group.
it was a very effective shoot i thought,
and it was fun i guess.
got back to hall close to 6am after the shoot though
(that was insane)
today i drifted in and out of sleep from like 1pm onwards.
and finally got out of bed at 5pm (lol)
then headed to JP for icecream w wall.
then trained homeee.
now i'm home and all i wanna do
is be back in hall :/
gonna spend tmr working on the 203 essay.
i also wanna spend some time somewhere i can be with just my thoughts
(and maybe, you)
and then i gotta pick up my camera from wall tmr.
thursday i'll be working with the Idea Factory
and then friday afternoon there's the artshow.
i also feel like baking
(perhaps on sunday)
and then saturday i wanna head to town to pick up some stuff.
okaaay and there goes Recess Week
(just like that)
Home is where the heart is.
okay so i havent blogged since a quick one on sunday.
this post is going to be kinda loaded.
i have some heavy thoughts on hall life vs. being at home
sooo
imma blog this first before i loose my thoughts
and then i'll blog the whathappened stuff.
okayyy so i was on the train back from hall today.
and i realised hall is home to me.
and i dread going home.
okay i'm gonna set the context for this-
when i go home,
i have to share a room with my sister
(and if you know me and if you know my sister,
you will know this is one billion on the unpleasant scale.)
there is also barely anything for me to do because everything is in hall.
when i want to stay up i also cant even stay in my room,
i have to be in the kitchen because everyone sleeps with their door open and so if i use the lights in the hall i'll be annoying them.
so seriously,
hall is a better option.
all my things are there.
i have my own space.
i dont have to share a cupboard and i have my own desk drawers shelves cupboard.
i also know that i can leave my things around without having to worry about someone taking them (i.e. my sister.)
it's really quite a paradigm shift how hall became home to me
and home's just,
a place where the rest of my family is.
i hate to think that i have no attachment to this home,
but honestly,
i dont.
the only thing that's here is my parents and bro
but we dont talk or do much anyways.
so what's the point of physically being home.
when i would honestly rather be in hall?
i have the freedom (and responsibility) to do what i want when i want.
it's just a lot better then being here at home (where home's just a label really)
somehow i still feel like i'm being held back from doing what i want
because now
i'm so accountable for everything that i do.
and it's annoying in some ways
because hey it's my life.
but i guess that's the way it's always been, i guess and always will be in general at this age.
it's also weirdly scary how i scare myself sometimes
it's not funny
it makes me feel sick
and it hits me in random waves that i cant seem to snap out of, at that moment
and then suddenly life goes on again
and there's no use being paranoid.
it's weird and it's annoying
but that's the way it is i guess.
(i've been using this way too often.)
among other related thoughts.
i realised uni is really going to shape me (further?)
into who i'm gonna be in the future
this is obvious i guess,
but i also think that it's vastly underrated
and i know i have this tendency to think too much,
and i am kinda pretty much a control freak,
but i dont wanna lose myself.
i really dont.
and i guess being aware of it is the first step.
it's also fridayyyy (2.25am)
and we've only got lessons from 1130-1pm.
:D
i've to complete my painting tmr
this should feel goodddd
because painting is awesome.
aaand
thennn i've gotta submit it.
mondayyy i've to be in school again for filming.
but apart from that,
all i wanna do is....
whatever i feel like doing at any point in time
cant seem to put an apt label on this now.
and there's still this disjoint that i get from being in ntu and being back home.
there's this very clear distinction between the two places,
and yet there's this very grey area wrt which is home.
i'm also thinking that i need some
island creamery
gong cha
ikea foodddd
this recess week.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Spent most of today doing reading for 201 since the test is tmr anyways.
I only made it for EAR today,
and we watched a "movie"
it was more like a documentary on Mt Mayon.
It was pretty good i thought,
though the intense use of instrumental music was quite...
funny (for the lack of a better word lol)
It didnt help that Jillian was comically pretending to conduct-
it made for quite a hilarious sight hahaha. tsk.
we left after the movie andddd
now i'm in sch,
reading 201 (againnnn)
and i have two chapters to go.....damn.
i am also really very hungryyyy
but atwallace is doing his 207 readings so imma wait.
the weather today has been all weird.
started off rainy
then beach sunny
then now it's all cool windy.
i like it today though.
looking at facebook and readings people's blogs
makes me think about how people change
and it's kinda scary but i guess it's inevitable.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
chinese test today was pretty alright.
spent nearly the whole of monday tryna memorise characters and stuff.
it was pretty alright wrt that. lol.
i was pretty tired after it though,
and must have been all the late night cramming ytd (heh)
so i came back to hall to rest and do some 201 reading after that.
and so yeah i'm in hall now.
i'm thinking whether i ought to check out the ADM library cos i really want to,
but i'm not sure what time it closes,
and there's also the 201 test to continue studying for on thurs,
so i guess i'll go on thurs after gv12.
i think i need a break from reading all module related stuf.
among the multitude of thoughts that are swimming in my head,
the deadline for the sws competition is this friday.
that's like in fours days.
and i havent figured what to paint zzz.
at this rate,
imma end up doing flowers,
AGAIN.
i'm kinda looking to paint something more real.
and less.....superficial and pretty.
that's the way life ought to be anyways right.
okay tryna draw a link between life and painting is kinda a leap (haha)
but yeah you get what i'm trying to drive at i guess.
still among my thoughts,
i think i might just go get an early dinner
(since i missed lunch resting today heh)
and i have a craving for the can15 beef bulgogi.
i only ever have cravings for that and the can2 western food
(what's new)
lol.
among other not so surface level thoughts-
i'm mostly alone today and it's made me think of how i am to you
and how i am in general with you.
and i look at your life.
i look at your family and your friends.
and i evaluate myself.
i evaluate myself in terms of how i fit in.
whether it's seamless and comfortable,
like an intricate weaving pattern. (this is the visual i want get)
that's the way it ought to be?
i want to be good for you this way.
i want to be a part of what you're a part of.
not in every micro aspect,
but in macro.
and not just for a day.
and when i really think of it
it's interesting how i evaluate myself in terms of you.
(i'd like to think this is telling of something.)
it's also amazing how i look at you
and not just look at you
i read into you (as best i can)
and it's really awesome. (you are too)
it's amazing how it came to this.
this is really the kind of happy that i can see this week next week next next week.
and it goes on.
and every day it leaves me with this incredible feeling.
it's a kind of happy that goes on.
and among other, other thoughts,
the ☀ is streaming into my room now,
like it does every day before six.
and it's really awesome.
i like it like this.
i like how everything is going now.
and i hope it only gets betterrr
Monday, October 11, 2010
it's 4am and i havent blogged in a million years.
I am currently attempting to watch Big Bang Theory,
while blogging, lol.
My memory seems to be goinggg
because i can hardly remember what's happened in the week lol.
ummmm.
okay so this week.
there's the chinese test which i'm totally not looking forward to.
and the 201 test on thurs.
apart from that,
my throat now hurtsssss
so i'm kinda losing the mood to blog, lol.
(apart from the fact that i cant really remember what i wanted to blog about, heh)
okaaaay.
imma try and make this week more yay and less zzz cos of the tests (heh)
i also needa find something to paint for the watercolour comp
aaand that's due on fri :/
so i gotta like chiong down on fridayyy, damn.
no way i'm mailing a watercolour painting, lol.
okaaay it's 4.10am so i think i ought to be sleeeeeping soon,
but there aint classes tomorrow
and i am going to spend the whole day doing chinese (shuckssss)
so i am compensating for all the sian by staying up.
right now,
i also feel like wearing black and whole week of school.
okay now i remember something about last week (haha)
went shopping with mummy onnnn (trying to remember the date lol)
ohyeah- saturday (LOLLLL)
and i was wearing all blackkk to Cotton On.
and everything i ended up getting was.....waitforit-
black.
so i think by now i have enough black to last me a week.
aaand i feel like painting my nails now haha.
anddd i also feel like eating Awfully Chocolate ice-cream now (:
lol pig much haha.
okaaay i'm hungry so i'm gonna find something to eattttt
blog more often (: watch this space
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."-Audrey Hepburn
i am really, really, really happy.
Monday, October 04, 2010
so it's 4th October
next month it'll be november,
then (you all know this)
december.
and december means CHRISTMAS.
i'm stoked for christmas for so many reasons this time around.
1) It's christmas
2) It's gonna be special this yearrrrr cos i've got someone to spend it with :)
3) It means exams are overrrr and it's the end of one sem!
-i survived.
4) My birthday's cominggg
5) Holidays are coming
6) I will be able to talk to relatives about how awesome uni has been.
7) Christmas lets you make people extra happy.
(:(:(:
pretty glad that it's coming soooon
so dont you burst my bubble that it's two months plus away-
i say it's less than half a year away and that's good enough yo.
right now,
i'm in hall trying to figure out the angles and the WWWWWH of my news story,
and planning interview questions and all that.
on my TO DO LIST
there's also Chinese homework,
which consists of writing a TON of chinese characters from the wb.
And memorising them so that i'll be able to recognise what they stand for.
that's the biggest challenge for me now i think.
there's also buying stapler bullets (lol)
cos i cant staple my notes cos of this zzz
aaand buying my EAR801 textbook-
i need to make a trip to Yunnan right about....reallysoon lol.
Most pressing would be chinese hw i guess.
i have been missing class (this is not good)
anddd so the chinese teacher will prolly be wondering whatttt on earth happened to me :S
okay i left this post here from earlier,
seem to have entirely forgotten about it, till now, heh.
it's 10pm and
as unhealthy and
at the risk of sounding like i cant take care of myself (yes i can)
i havent eaten since a cupcake from lw this morning,
hurr.
i spent the whole day looking at what i have to do and planning out the news story stuff.
not entirely productive,
but not entirely useless.
i guess i ought to get started on chinese like.
now.
i think if i had to choose one thing i dont like about uni now,
it would be chinese (damn)
suddenly i'm harbouring some regret over having taken that module,
but i guess i keep missing classes cos it's at 930ammm
and it's so hard to memorise the characters.
okay i'm not going to start complaining full time about chinese.
i just gotta get over it.
and go for class tmr....
(this is contributing wholly to making me feel sian)
i am also starting to get hungry,
and so imma go to the pantry
to cook my first packet of maggi in hall.
i intend to use the microwave,
not the stove,
so i really really hope this works.
funny how i make something so trivial sound like a big deal.