i just re read this awesomettm poem by Vibhu (love much) Its titled Emo Wishes and he wrote it (: dont take offence for any reason.
if i had an emo fringe, id flick it everyday.
id make sure it stays long and black to flick the happy away.
if i had emo eyeliner, id always line my eye(s)
but im emo so you see it may smudge when i cry.
if i were in emo kid, id wear skinny jeans
but id be too emo to take them off so they’d never be clean.
if i were an emo kid, black would always be the in-thing
id play my emo music loud but id be way too emo to sing.
if i were that emo, id cry when id see pink.
i dont really know why id do that, but it might be cool, i think.
id paint my nails The Emo Colour, as shown on tv.
coz tv’s totally like real life, it’s so simple, you see?
if i was an emo kid though, damn would i be cool.
theyd shun me on the streets and avoid me in school.
emo would be so damn fun, id cry the pain away.
but i would so hydrate myself-emo kids dont do hospital okay.
but.
if i did turn emo, what would i have to forgo?
oh nevermind.
its not worth the time.
emo’s so five minutes ago.
Missing you loads and loads and loads and heaps and heaps and heaps vibs.
:D
today was awesome cos sch was only for an hour plus, teachers' day concert was short and sweet (not to mention a million times less stressful for me :D)
following the concert was arttttt till about 2 plus.
then lunch (a very late lunch) at PS LJS with shaaawn. anddd walked around, resisted the urge to buy damndamn awesome glittery paper from made with love andd this super cute cupcake like plastic thingy thats pink from daiso. haha, can you believe i resisted lollll.
then in hope of finding mr bean (haha this is not a joke okay) as in, the soyabean shop, we walked to centrepoint, alas, we couldnt finddddd any mr beans (lol sounds funny)
so in the end, the happy nerve settled for mix&match mc flurry at centrepoint macs. its damnnn awesome, seriously ! :D though my fav is of course, miloooo nuggets and milo poweder :D the whole idea of mixing your own stuff in, is damn cute and it makes me happy (in a damn cheap thrill way)
then attempted to cover some (SOME) micro econs. haha, it wasnt too bad.
talked till i had pretty much a sore throat, lol. then went home sweet home :D
(: tmr i'm heading out to get contacts :O followed by shopping :D i also reallyreally hope that i wont get a headache from the contacts lol.
however, i am pretty sure that i will be a happy girl tmr- there's mr bean at pasirris mrt, tampines 1 aaaand tampines mrt. so yay, even if they run out of soya bean icecream at one, i'm sureee there'll be at another -beams. (happy only)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
MELTED.
so today was pretty much awesome (:
woke up lateeeeee, headed to school lateeeee.
school was productive though (: managed to get alot done :D finished painting !!! :D thats the good news.
haha now, before i blog about the awesome shopping- smth that irked me (MAJORLY) today.
i was on the bus to sch and there were more bags than ppl occupying the seats. and i've no idea why, but all the people who were occupying up to three seats, with their legs wide open, were old.
so annoying seriously. imagine having a populatioon that's even more ageing (disastrous for bus commuters)
anyways (: after school, (i practically melted) i chionged home, resisted the urge to cab, changed, got out of the house again to go to artfriend and get some stuff :D
managed to get all the rub ons for my art and some stickers (: awesome blue alphabets. aaand spent a looooong time counting and deciding how many alphabet rub ons i should get lol. (luckily i managed to bump into miss kwa there !)
theeeen chris and i headed baaack to raffles city :D haha didnt have much time to shop (my pockets are thanking me lol) anddd so we only went to a stationery shop :D haha, i couldnt resist the urge to get the cutest ever Alice in Wonderland stickers :D:D:D :D yeah, you get my drift. :D happy only.
i've always been collecting stickers, since kindergarten (: so now its the same haha. yeah (:
so nowwwww, i'm home, its still terribly warm. not to mention i have a cold sore (no, its not from kissing too much -.-) and its horrible annoying. my eyes are also fighting to stay open (no idea why, i must be tired)
so i guess i shall sleep by 12 tonight.
also i am looking forward to tmr, its a day closer to monday, which is a day closer to tuesday which is, a holiday.
demi lovato's Here we go again has been on repeatrepeatrepeat today, its super awesome.
okayyyy with that, if you see me tmr, please dont laugh at my cold sore >:(
Thursday, August 27, 2009
i like smth about this song, not the correspondence to any recent events(/feelings) this song is today's pick me up.
no point.
so today i spent the whole day doing nothing much. i just hate this weather, the whole laziness of it grows. i also realised that i might have grown out of touch with poetry, which is sad.
and i just feel so wound up and sucked in by stuff sometimes, i know one really knows. i guess i prefer to just shut up about it. cos nothing helps much anyways.
so i guess, sometimes i really cant stand them. yes i feel left out. yes i dont know why its like that. i guess its my attitude or smth.
its always been like that because of academic choices i made. and this isnt an excuse. well whateverrr. i'm sick of this.
hi i was attempting to make a wishlist but apparently only the stuff i can find in shopping centres are really damn nice. lol.
so anyways (: PRELIMS ARE OVER YO. :D happyhappyhappy only (: dinner last night with magenta christine shawn was awesome (: check out magenta's blog for the photos (: (photobucket is being bleah on me)
so the smoked salmon with rosti, coke, calamari rings and ben and jerry's was awesome :D aaand not to mention the shopping spree at SIX :D haha.
(: so it was awesome all in all.
todayyyy i have to do artartart at homeeee. the rainy weather is putting me off- gonna have a csi marathon, 3 hours of csi :D i need icecream and food lol.
anddd tmr i have to go to school to do art. (: wellllll, looks like its gonna be art intensive. 75 days to As anyways. (not even talking about the ART COURSEWORK DATELINE.)
(OKAY NOW THE RAIN IS SO HEAVYYYYY)
alright so i shall go find something to eat apart from Wafflecrisp cornflakes, and kaya toast.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
i wanted to hit fastforward. but now, please just rewind.
i'm in a horrible mood.
today i hate pretty much everything.
somehow things get better in their own way. actually-
i am looking forward to DINNER TMR. and the official E-N-D of prelims.
Monday, August 24, 2009
goodnight, world.
i think i really dont have a thing for econs. esp market failure. (please dont come out tmr.)
sighhhhhhhhhh econs ): makes me unhappy.
on a brighter side, udders icecream today was awesomestuff though not as great as anderson's.
after tmr, i am so looking forward to human geog, which i had like 6 days to prep for, from last thurs, to this tues. so i'm banking on it to pull up my geog, judging from the lousy showing at geog paper 1.
after wed, i am so looking forward to celebrating the end of prelims. though i know for a fact that it's gonna be a damn shortlived celebration, due to the impending datelines for art.(the killer) so yeahhhh. after prelims, chiong art, chiong art, chiong art during sept hols, revisereviserevise moremoremore for prelim2, cramcramcram for A levels.
sounds like a good plan, the only flaw i guess, is will power.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
i've never really said it but i know people have bigger problems than i do. so all the more i should just deal with mine.
okaaay today.
i am annoyed that my drawing tool on msn aint working ):
today was good, anderson's icecream is my fav.
looking forward to some serious mugging (must lol) tmr (: apart from that, i am happy with how things are going now, but i hope i'm not just doing this to prolong things.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
and recently i have not been posting photos, since the photo uploading thing on my blogger doesnt work. but since i decided not to be lazy and to use photobucket, here's this photo from nad's party -
i like how sarah, chris and i look happyhappy in it :D
credits to magenta for the awesome picts.
so today was awesome fun (:
did some studying at starbucks, then headed to Ion :D it was mad crowded.
had fun walking around, all the shops had a new new smell (which kinda stinkeddddd.) didnt really find anything which i really really liked (amazingly) there were a few shades of awesome nail colour, but of course, not the awesome grey i want ):
had lunch+dinner at soup spoon at around 530-6 :D
shared a set of lightning earrings with chang :D (very niceee.) camwhored outside the toilets at Ion, which're awesome.
then we went to cine for neoprints :D awesome stuff. :D had fun. haha, (so you can see, awesome is the word of the day) the neoprints're way nice. :D
then we all trained home. lol. the cheap thrill of the day was macarons vs. macaroons lol. and magenta's serious interrogation of chang with all the WHY!s (inside joke) lol.
thennnn i went to meet my family at j8 for sakaeeee sushi (i know you must be thinking, whattttt she's eating again after eating at soup spoon.....BUT-) i ate earlier so i only had like three ebiko sushis, one and a half soft shell crabs (they're SMALL okay) anddd two pieces of fried tofu. i also drank ALOT of water. aha.
so once again i had a totally awesome day, thanks guys :D (: gotta mug tmr. and on monday. and on tuesday. (not to compensate though aha)
human geog makes me sleeppppp. esp reading case studies on squatter settlements. (random: the Favelas in Rio De Janeiro remind me of CSI Miami.)
okaaaay i am off to further destress yo.
Friday, August 21, 2009
The girl in me is looking for a matt dark grey shade of nail polish. Anyone?
so i have an all new kind of awesome, aweeesome music in my playlist. its the AWESOMESTUFF YO playlist. and the songs are really awesome, yes, they're all move on, get over it type songs by guys, but they're so awesome that way, really.
and when i feel damn lonely and shitty and no mood to study-ish, they help. they help in strange ways, its a different kind of pick me up from coffee or chocolate or even, baileys.
and its awesome like that.
81 days.
so today's rainy and gloomyyyy.
so it looks like a stay home till afternoon day. i guess since lunch is at home, my lazy (lonely) self will end up staying at home doing human geog. talk about redefining boredom.
but i guess, since for human geog there's way fewer chapters, it should be easier and stuff. yeah. i also need to remind myself that i still have 8 pages of watercolour paintings to be outlined in black. (damn.)
okay so its off to lunch, more csi than work. though i may not be able to resist heading to coffeebean for coffee.
(: prelims are almost over. so looking forward to celebratory dinner with the starbucks study grp, watching Coraline (though idk with who yet), ikeaaaa for yummy food, aaand other liberating stuff lol.
although i know we cant escape the fact that A levels are only 81 days away. DAMNNNNN.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Worth it.
so the music i've been listening to has been way awesome stuff. thanks yo. :D
its been pretty boring, life now. since its just studies. the occasional cheap thrill. short lived happiness.
i just wanna get over this period. it doesnt suck so bad with friends and stuff (: but still, i'm sure if you took/are taking your A's you'd know exactly what i'm driving at.
I just really hope that in the end, it'll be all worth it.
cos i really need it to be all worth it. really.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
hiiiii so i am done with papers for this week. yes it feels so nice. (because the past few days i have been shagged ttm) (:
ah but still, prelims havent ended yetttt. so all the way for geog paperrrr 2. (not forgetting econs paper1)
ah so life has been revolving around- coffee. sotongonstik. lecture books.
aaand okay i dont feel like blogging anymore. gonna sleeeeeeep early.
haha i think the sloganiser is a damn feel good website. (: though of course, nothing can beat friends (:
(: okay going offf now. csi (heh)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
bad news art was bad havent had such a bad paper considering its like my fave paper. among other things- the old chang kee website doesnt have the calories for the sotongonstik hehe oh well. what you dont know cant hurt you.
good news. i am going to wear my new cotton on top. do aaalot of hydrohydrohydro. and have a nice cup of caramel macchiato with my sotongonstik. and be happy.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
freedom of speech is never really freedom of speech, unless you entirely dont bother about what people think. which is almost never the case.
the things running through my mind today-
the onslaught of, prelims. sotongonstikkkk. old chang kee. calories man. my new cotton on topppp is loveeeeeee. (right gina ;)) econseconseconseconseconecons chasing away pigeons. the word for verbal diarrhoea
never really felt so happy studying (:
spent the past three days studying from 8-8pm, at starbucks with some real awesome friends (: made me look forward to studying a lot more! (its so un-me to wake up at 7 to study by 8 am :D)
(: never really felt so motivated to wake up so early, really. so thanks magenta, christine, shawn and ginaaaaaa :D see magenta's blog for the photos :D
i'm actually gonna miss studying with y'all (: so we gotta study tgh more again (:
last night i went to pohpoh's house for a bbq (: a random bbq, haha. it was awesome too (: the company was fun and the food was greaaat. the moscato was really awesome stuff haha. gladly i didnt wake up with a hangoverrrr.
okay i need to chase myself off to starbucks nowwww. (:
(: tmr i'm gonna wake up earlyyyyy :D and i have found an incentive- studying with the arts people (: which is great :D thanks guys. (:
(i have also re-liked studying econs. somehow, though its still killer. :D)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
as long as we believe.
i like this year's national day song. its nostalgic. hopeful. happy. it makes it seem like the future is going to be damn awesome. even if i'm not the least bit sure how it will be.
suddenly i'm really scared. about everything.
lightning all around me.
i think sometimes i scare/worry/tire myself. (doesnt everyone)
its just different every time (: last night the stress and emotions kinda got to me i guess. and for one, i think crying really helps (: makes you feel better, yes its cathartic like painting with watercolour.
what sucks, is the throbbing headache thereafter and your eyes in the morning.
so anyways, i know how i love to receive snail mail, so i figured other people would. but then i realised i didnt have their addresses, so i guess, passing it to them in school will have to work.
i always had the idea that handwritten stuff are like shoutouts from the heart. sometimes its HI. sometimes its you've been awesome. sometimes its ily. sometimes its SORRY but whatever it is, its heartfelt. its nice.
i guess, what i'm trying to drive at, is that everyone loves feeling special everyone loves knowing that someone out there thinks about you at some moment in the day (and as i am typing this, yes i am thinking of you) anddd sometimes you think you really miss someone so much you could live with them every single day (cos yes, love works) but in reality, that's not how it goes. buttons may pop.
sometimes i wonder how people keep it going, then i figured, its kinda straightforwarded and there aint no explaination. they just do.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
why cant i mean more to you than you do to me.
for a split second my buried hopes shattered.
today was good, tmr i the last official school day for term 3. scary. it still seems like june just went. :/
Monday, August 10, 2009
half eaten hersheys. sad faces on msn. no sun. rain. grumpy. sian-ness.
things associated with being sad.
i should go study art, in hope of a pick me up.
this is the mood and song for the day. there is more to this i know.
disappear.
okay so the past few days have been bad (study wise) and great (fun wise)
so recently sigh idk i just feel so unsettled. and emo inside.
secrets, mistakes, regrets. they always have a way of getting back to you. i guess in ways i'm weaker, cos i've let my guard down to expose myself to my regrets being thrown at me. but that's how it always works. shit happens. (i dont know where i'm going with this)
maybe i'm just scared that the future doesnt turn out how i imagined it to be. cos then i would have worked, suffered, tolerated, dreamed, wished, aimed for nothing.
and maybe thats just the skeptic in me coming out again. sometimes, days like these, when i'm unhappy and so confused, i just really secretly wish i could just. disappear.
everyone has a limit.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
for the intrumental music types, this is from the scene in the cave when dumbledore creates the firestorm. it is such a build up of emotion, its amazingggggggg. seriously. from around 1:10.
i dont like the smell of the haze :/ it feels like sometimes burning.
and i wanna get the harry potter and the half blood prince soundtrackkkkkkkk. like reaaaallly reaaaally badly. the music is awesome.
(:
thanksgiving was awesomezzzz. it was a good dose of happiness, lovecollegelife-ness and patriotism. haha and other more insignificant things - pink is a happy colour for me :D and haha sam, ty and i realised a number of things about girls (: lollll. quite funny, really.
(: feeling kinda awesome cos its saturdayyy and i woke up at nineeeeeeeeeee. attempted to do some econs (HURRHURR) and tidied the dining tableee.
oh and recently (: managed to catch harry potter ytd (: it wasnt as bad as i expected (: (then again maybe i'm not critical enough haha)
i also got to use my new grey stripy cardigan (: love it haha. cept for the fact that it leaves grey hairs everywhereeee after. (:
okay so you see prelims are a week away, gotta continue studying (: cos i'm almost thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
feelings.
i feel kinda sickkkk. been sick today, stomach hurts idkwhy. possibly so because i only ate an apple pie and three nuggets today. looks like the stress is kicking in.
the dialogue with Mr Subhas Anandan today was inspiring in small ways. he seems like a really strong character.
I am also very amazed by his apparent ability to keep things objective. (it feels like supressing your conscience, to me at least)
so well to make myself smile, i am for one looking forward to tmr ! (: (not the three hours of maths in the morning, (thats a sure yaaaaaaaaaaaawn) but the harry potter if i'm up to it (:
and the concert. oh and the flowers (: though i am apparently more excited for the recipients of my flowers than getting any.
i sound pretty moody, but that's cos i am :/ cant find an idea or good composition for my competition piece ): (any ideas, friends?) aaand, i am also feeling guilty to have been spending time on this instead of other more important things.
also today, we watched a video about world hunger. it got me really thinking.
malthus' theory states that the world population is increasing exponentially and the availability of food is unable to keep up. this means, the world will end up starving. why then are people today obese, even? (not to say starvation doesnt exist)
its mainly cos malthus didnt take into account technology, mainly fertilisers.
what appalled me was how 9.1 million people die from hunger every year. when we have enough food globally. (farmers would rather dispose of their crops than give them for free despite having excess or no storage space) this is sad. and i didnt say this earlier, but i almost cried.
cant we do smth about this. we need technology and financial support to transport food to these places. (it seems so, so very simple, but on a macro scale i guess it isnt) and thats awful for the 25000 people who starve daily. (i really wish i could teleport.) ):
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
in sequencial order.
national day holiday, prelims studystudy pre A's studystudy A lvls Watercolour comp results End of A levels PROM.
So it seems like we're almost there, i'm anticipating it, but yes, we both know the inputs affect the outcomes (DUH) and when we get our results next year, I WANT TO BE CRYING TEARS OF JOY. not regret, or sadness and i have no intention of flooding in disappointment (till i drown)
so yeah, i just need reminders. (:
mixed.
when i was on the bus home today (like every other day) i thought about what i would say to summarize my day but (like every other day) by the time i get to blogging that one liner, i would have forgotten what it was (in all its apt-ness hurr)
so today, i realised the importance of being clear of what you want in life, in school, in everything.
today i realised the importance of drawing the line(s)
ytd, i realised tthings, that i'm not so sure of today. but i guess thats all part and parcel of the ambiguity that we make life out to be.