ii think i want one day to just go somewhere.
bring a notebook and a magazine and music.
and just spend the whole day doing nothing.
just sitting there and thinking.
and being comfortable.
being who i am
i dont want it to be a rainy day (lol)
and i want someone to be with me.
someone i'm comfortable with.
so that when the world stops
just for that moment
i wont be alone.
1541: balance.
it's a lazy saturday.
woke up at 11 to the sound of the vacuum cleaner in my room.
proceeded to laze around listening to stars and some new music.
then did some drawing.
i havent used pen in eons.
couldnt find anything to draw
so i ended up with the default
anorexic hearts
(as friends have -affectionately- termed)
and flowers.
then i followed daddy to ntuc to get stuff for dinner tonight
lugged everything back
(on my own, hoho)
then watched the Lovely Bones (:
it's pretty awesome
i enjoyed the conceptualism in the movie
like all the in-between scenes
the storyline might have been week in terms of development of the characters
but i think the emotions portrayed in the acting and the way the scenes were shot
kinda made up for all of that.
suspense was pretty good too.
(:
enjoyed it thoroughly.
currently typing this post on my bed,
since my sis is having maths tuition with my uncle at the dining table.
facing my desk,
i am realising what an insane mess there is on the floor.
it's frankly just two big bags of clothes,
but it's occupying so much floor space that it looks insanely messy-
like a hurricane swept through that space
heh.
there is some comfort in mess.
it's like my mess.
HAHA, who am i trying to kid.
facing my desk
there's also all my ponies.
i'm gonna miss that childhood touch they add to my room,
i'm prolly gonna bring a few to uni (:
everyone thinks they're just ponies
and i've always been kinda obsessed with them.
but really,
they've become more.
like some attempt to keep some of my childhood alive
since everything else is delving into seriousness and
everything else is becoming so consequential to my future.
i always look for balance in life,
and they sorta help balance out all the complexity.
soft toys do that too.
and all those weird quirky random things
like that pink origami ribbon hairband
and the sequinned big ribbon hairclip
and the solar panel ring.
i'd like to think that
they balance out the normality of every day.
speaking of sequins,
i still havent worn that awesome sequinned jacket which i blew $60 on
during the Mango sale.
haha (shucks i know right)
ought to get down to wearing it, soon.
okay apart from how life usually goes.
i've been slowly trying to phase this out.
i cleared my inbox and fb ytd.
mhmm.
okay i'm off to complete this sat afternoon
with all my favourite parts from 500 days of summer.
(can you ever get enough of joseph gordon lewitt?)
Been thinking alot abt myself lately
and where i'm headed in life.
it's all very exciting to think about.
it's also very nice to discover
how the things i've experienced to date have shaped my character and perspective on life
and things in general.
and at the same time it determines what i want to do with my life.
i've been less paranoid abt the uncertainty of what's ahead
and i've been trying to instead embrace the possibilities available.
it feels very different.
and after watching Into the Wild,
i realise even more that it's okay not to follow the whole conventional success story route.
i can define my own success
and perhaps
(and i really suspect)
i will be happier that way too.
been reading
Fashion Toast(as you would know if you read this blog lol)
found some awesome shots in the latest posts.
(credits there for these shots)
blogging from my aunt's house, using her laptop (:
the weather is awesome rainy today.
woke at like 9am to awesome chill weather,
like the kind that is totally awesome to sleep through
but i had to wake by ten
cos i was going over to my cousin's place to play with them :D
Dani's bigger now (:
and she can finally call my name :D
she keeps saying "Hi Manna"
haha, cos she cant say Mantha (: hahaha.
too cute.
took a nice nap on the couch just now (:
so comfortableeeeeee.
(didnt want to wake up, lol)
the weather's still pretty chill but i guess it's getting sunnier.
awesome weather for a pullover,
but their house is insanely hot so yeah haha,
tee and shorts for me (:
meeting amanda at gardens later for a catch up (:
apart from that,
i caught Into the Wild ytd.
pretty awesome.
it's quite inspiring what he did
and i think it really takes a lot of courage to be able to just leave everything behind
when it really is so much easier to just follow what's conventionally ahead of you.
i wanna be able to do this someday
to be free of all the materialism even if just for awhile,
and even if i am a perpetrator of it like all the time
(heh, with all the shopping)
and to quote the dude (alexander supertrampppp)
Happiness (is) only real when shared.
Couldnt agree more.
and happiness to me,
has always been elusive and fleeting.
hopefully one day i'll be able to have been happy enough
to be content with life in general.
and this kinda happy,
you dont know how it feels till you feel it.
i'm 19,
still got a long way to go,
but i'll be waiting for the day when i can say,
this is the happiest i've ever felt
and that happiness will be enough to drive on for a long time.
arms like that, hoho.
something's screwy with my links page now :/
the hearts end up repeated :/
to see the rest of the links though,
just click on the third heart at the bottom.
will try to rectify the problem asap (:
woke up at 1230,
not bad cos it's earlier than usual, hehe.
i absolutely cannot wait for some teh tarik icecream later :D
i think this is really all the start of some awesome friendships.
of course though i wont forget the jc friends.
heartttttt.
another awesome day.
looking forward to satisfying my island creamery craving tmr.
like finally
i havent had a good dose of art or art history in awhile.
damien hirst please bring some work to singapore.
i'm gonna make it a point to see his work before i die.
dali's work has already been here.
now maybe i need some bacon and freud.
i think i would be able to appreciate their work much more in real life
than in a 2D image of it.
while we're talking art,
i wouldnt mind seeing some of Hopper's work
and Dede.
he's south east asian but we never get to see the classic works
like Between the Red Beams, Urban Class, The crossing.
Yeah i've seen his work/s a million times over on paper
but it's not quite as awesome as being in front of one.
i cant decide whether i like Hopper, Dali, Hirst or Dede more.
and Kandinsky.
these've got to be my favourite artists.
maybe a bit of giacometti and moore
where sculpture is concerned.
i'm going to miss art history and sova
(i already miss it, lol)
i guess perhaps this is smth i should pursue after 4 years in wkw
i really like these shots.
Cupcakes&Sushi& on a very random note in some referral to some photos in this post
+i really do think that happy girls are the prettiest
+i'm not a couple tee person but sometimes i think it's cute
and if you're unclingy all the way,
a couple tee once a a blue moon compensates for everything?
(not that there needs to be compensation)
+i wanna work a fishtail braid
+i never really bothered with makeup for some reason, it's like it takes away how natural and how clean the palette is, in some weird art analogy way
+i wanna go for a picnic
it's 2pm,
and i'm currently singing along to glee
and enjoying the lazy morning.
been sleeping at insane hours
and not feeling tired, weirdly.
i guess cos i spent the whole day doing nothing much anyways,
so there wasnt much energy apart from the daily workout
been eating only dinner,
and have yet to get gastric,
i suspect it's cos i wake so late anyways, heh.
(: looking forward to tonight with the og.
and apart from that there's nothing much to blog abt.
everything's been so fragile recently
and it's kinda funny with all these kinda things happening.
i wouldnt say exciting cos it isnt
but it's i guess, you could say, eventful.
still looking forward to moving into hall ! :D
and then the start of school.
things can only get more awesome.
i've been missing out on fashiontoast.com
i've also been so lazy
i keep wearing the same things
pullovers are all underworn now (sadly)
i need
picnics movies cartoons desperate housewives cycling music drinks phototrips swimming bowling nail painting cardmaking shopping sleeping orange juice the zoo icecream long bus rides a fully charged ipod a bb lists of things to do shorts hugs tigersocks sunsets the beach you friends family
to be happy
I LOVE YOU SAM :D
i've really been overloading on awesomeness the past few days and nights (:
the lack of sleep isnt taking a toll on me,
which is damn weird but yeah go figure, lol.
there's this whole horde of talent in wkwsci
it's so awesome
and everyone's so close knit and everything.
i never thought i'd feel this at home with people i'd just come to meet (:
to think i had fears of having to not fully be myself
it's nothing like that now.
and life is like in good balance once again.
the only thing unsettling is you :/
it's at the back of my head.
like an eyelash in my eye
and i'm trying to make things better
but somehow it's always the wrong time
and it never feels right.
it's always a case of it being too late.
and sometimes i hate myself for making decisions which i end up regretting.
i guess in life
you never know until you try,
but you always end up forgetting that
if you live for all those moments that you try so you wont regret having not tried,
you end up forgetting about the moments where you end up regretting that you tried.
so which is the lesser of two evils?
to have tried and regretted?
or to have never tried and regret that instead.
i cant decide.
apart from those thoughts,
ytd was sam's bday (:
we spent an awesome chill day by the beach
(wkwscifoc memories, lol)
and it was freezing at the beach.
no chance to get a tan ):
but yeah it was awesome chilling.
the world stopped moving.
i'll post photos in the next post.
supper last night was awesome too,
i can really get used to this.
this post is like full of ranting i suspect.
and random and disorganised,
but whatever, lol.
wkw has been my life for the past six days,
and for the next four years,
and there is nothing more awesome than that.
that's been my main thought for the past few days.
and also i've been feeling so awesome cos
i know i made the right decision.
i am sooo glad i didnt choose fass :D
(:
i would love to blog abt camp
but it was so packed and fun and awesome
and full of stuff
and secret stuff too,
so i wont, haha.
i guess, what i can say is
the friendships made are awesome.
and i've discovered i can survive on so little sleep,
which is damn amazing cos normally i sleep at 3 and wake at 2.
and i've also discovered my inner clubber.
i always thought i'd get a headache and the lights would be damn annoying,
but after ytd,
from 12 to 4,
i realised that's not the case.
it's also a damn amazing way to burn calories, so yay.
now i just need more clubbing clothes, heh.
i am also so excited to move to hall,
and spend nights out and suppers and everything.
and ah everything about uni just seems to exciting all that,
i really wonder where all the apprehension dissipated too.
there's also the d&d coming up pretty soon,
more hype to school (:
i'm also glad to have made good friends (yay)
so much for being scared abt my social circle collapsing on itself, heh.
(:
the girls are all so awesome and sweet and happy
and i just cant wait for school to start.
(:
okayyyy i'm so happy :)
i am wearing my wee tee all the time now :)
it's also so weird how we're on a break now,
when uni hasnt started,
but both of us dont mind.
it kills me.
but at the same time there's smth relieving abt this.
so it's weird and complicated and shit
but yeah.
okaaaay meeting the bestfriend to catch up on soooo much, soon.
cant wait :D
WKWSCI has only been THE MOST AWESOME CAMP EVER.
it's been life changing, in ways and i can already feel the ground beneath me moving for uni.
i can sense the change in environment and all
and at first i was apprehensive about it
but now,
now i just cant wait to embrace it.
cant wait.
today was pretty awesome (:
met amanda for shopping at 313 and we spent an hour plus in Mila,
which has some pretty awesome stuff!
we just kept trying and trying stuff
and the woman was being sooo nice about it (:
she got me a floral tank :)
not really very me-ish
but i figured i need to balance out all the black and blue in my wardrobe,
yes i am becoming more girly, lol.
then after shopping we popped by f21 but it was so crowded i didnt feel like shopping...
then it was 3 (:
so we had lunch at Handburger :D
awesome stuff as usual.
cept that my throat is now itching and i'm coughingcoughingcoughing
from the awesome nutella with marshmellows milkshake hehe.
then we headed home
cos she had choir (:
rested at home for a bit before heading for dinner with the family at Stevo's
just along thomson road, before thomson plaza (:
my uncle opened a restaurant there,
and today's the first day so we decided to go (:
pretty awesome place
and so i'll be working thereee soon.
like after orientation week (:
part time though i hope.
oookay tmr's sunday,
get to go get camp stuff with the boyf
then i need to pack for camp
and batheee.
that's a whole ton of stuff :/
ahhh okay.
gonna check on baking life then sleep soon,
yup (:
this is gonna be like 80% ranting.
So it's officially been five days of being sick.
and it's so sickening.
i have been home the WHOLE week.
waking up close to one every single day.
drinking tons and tons of water
and taking medicine after medicine.
i've been staying home every day,
it's insanely boring.
but half the time i feel too shitty and phlegmy (haha)
to go out.
so yeah :/
it's finally friday,
which brings us closer to the weekend.
and weekends are always more awesome than weekdays
because we normally get to go out.
and this weekend i'm meeting amandaaaa for shopping
then i have to pack for camp
(not so much looking forward to this)
but then sundays i get to see the boyf after tuition
which sort of makes it the best day of the week.
normally weekdays arent that boring cos i can go window shop on my own
and do whatever i want
but this week
zzz
no.
such.
thing.
so yeah i think you get my drift of what a lazy sick week i've had heh.
i was supposed to go make a pair of specs but the rain was too cool to not sleep through
and so here i am.....
feeling really bored
and sian that there's nothing to eat at home
and i hate having to cook for myself.
sigh.
it's not fun being home five days a week that's for sure.
zzz.
okay i guess i should go make lunch.
then maybe look for Desperate Housewives Season 6 to watch.
i think i've missed like 6 episodes, zzz.
(thanks to A levels.)
Okay apart from that,
i cant wait to bake on sunday,
and maybe i'm gonna bake today cos on sunday it'll be so rushyyy.
ahhh i'm too fickle..
should i bake today :S heh.
okay i should just stick to sundayyy (:
lol.
alright, i should just get lunch and slack the rest of the day away,
sigh.
my stupid throat is killing me.
it's damn annoying.
i've been drinking so, so, SO much water,
and it's still like this.
coughing and coughing.
and then my stupid retainers cut me,
so now BOTH sides of my mouth are aching like shit.
and my throat feels so annoying cos of the phlegm.
so damn annoying.
i just want to get wellllllll :(
at least tmr's friday.
i dont wanna go to ntu tmr :(
and sian,
i think maybe the medicine aint working.
HATE THIS.
woke up coughing insanely,
prolly cos i missed a dose of med at 7am,
zzz.
i'd rather have a fever than be coughing, seriously.
it feels like my lungs are trying to get out of my chest
and it hurts :/
i must admit the coughing is prolly due to my consumption of chocolate.
lol, i've been eating chocolate like i dont have a cough.
and by choc i mean MAGNUM.
my medicine clearly works when i take it,
i'm trying not to overdose cos it feels soooo much better after taking it (heh)
and i was supposed to wake at 8 to make it to ntu,
but the lazy bugs in me
(i suspect there are at least ten in me now)
told me to stay in bed and sleep till twelve then go for the test either tmr
or next week before camp or smth.
i just think it's so damn stupid to have to go all the way there for a stupid urine test.
annoying.
apart from that,
i woke up abt an hour ago,
took a shower.
and now i'm going to eat my chocolate cupcake
(lol chocolate again)
and then maybe if i'm not thatttt lazy,
i will head to 313 for dtf and some shopping,
then get dinner back for the bro and sis.
i've been so lazy to go out and shop even,
smth is wrong with me.
(oh yeah, i'm sick zzz)
pretty ring i found on the f21 webbie (:
tmr looks like a longgg day for me :/
gonna head ALL THE WAY to ntu for the urine test (WTH RIGHT YEAH I KNOW)
then nothing. zzz.
and the timing is anytime btwn 9-11am.
i guess tmr will be more productive since every day i've just been sleeping and watching tv and eating, zzz.
i hope i dont end up spending tmr (since i'll be alone :/)
okaaaay i should sleep soon,
otherwise i bet i wont be able to wake at 8am without being insanely grumpy to the rest of the world.
among other thoughts,
i think i ought to start making a list of all the stuff i want to bring over to my room in hall,
knowing me,
there's going to be a million and one things that i'm gonna want to bring there
and since i obviously cant bring alllll my stuff there,
i gotta slowly start planing :/
clothes wise i guess i'll just bring everything that's hanging,
things wise, damnnn i'm gonna have a tough decision since
there's no point bringing every pony.
it's like i want my room to be just how it is whenever i get back from hall on weekends,
and at the same time,
i want my room at hall to be like how my room is.
but obviously it cant be that way :/
anyways.
i'm going to need to do a whole ton of stationery shopping which makes me insanely happy.
stationery shopping is the next best thing to clothes/accessories shopping.
and i can already hear that awesome stationery shop in funan calling me.
while i'm in this preparing-for-the-big-change-that-is-uni-life mood,
i also ought to start thinking of what stuff i need to get for camp.
for starters,
the pack list says six pairs of shorts and tshirts.
tshirts, fine.
but shorts!?
i only have one pair of fbts :/
and i hate fbts other than using that for pt or pe
so i think it's so silly to get fbts JUST for 4 days of camp.
i also think maybe instead of fbts i should get those shorts from cotton on
(i have been waiting for them to be $5 from $10 since forever,
zzz why dont they just lower the price?!
must be the cost price or whatever.
okay so yeah, maybe i should get those instead.
they're way better to sleep in too
and i guess once camp's over i can use them for that?
yeahhhh now i'm thinking.
i'm so lazy to start over.
but i guess it's inevitable.
today doesnt feel so awesome.
i've finally made successful colour changes to my blog :D
happiness.
it's hard to balance dull colours which i like-
taupe, dark grey, dark blue.
i like how the dull colours switch to bright colours when you hover over :D
it's like how i like dull colours but i also like bright ones :D hehe
i've also made some minor changes to header colours,
and taken away all the fluorescence in the links (:
and the line below the hearts too (:
pretty happy.
it's the next best layout to my ideal layout which i have yet to find on blogger
and have yet to piece tgh.
this should do for now (:
i'm closing in on 1600 posts,
i hope blogger doesnt have a limit :/
i like this style.
taken off tumblr
okaaay i've been s-i-c-k
and feeling so shitty,
havent felt like blogging, heh.
sunday was awesome (as i mentioned)
but left me sickkkk :/ bleah.
ytd was spent half sleeping and half lying down on the couch watching Friends and CSI
i'm having a perpetual headache,
for some weird reason.
dinner was at crystal jade at tp (:
mag's bday (:
the pei tan congee is just too awesome.
it's the best thing when i feel like sick ttm.
it's btwn that and xlb at dtf at least (:
aha.
(:
so that was awesome.
we got a cupcake for mag :D
haha, so funny but yeah :)
then teowww drove us home :D
(yay thanks)
todayyy i took pohpoh out for lunch at sushi tei,
cos i was sooo lazyyy to find smth to eat at home, heh.
ikura+sushi rice is just beyond awesome.
and the chocolate wafer with the vanilla icecream inside is sooooo good. (:
(:
listening to the Eclipse Original Motion Picture Soundtrack now (:
some pretty good songs on that list.
for one i never knew Metric was so good (:
just had dinner
and forgot abt baking life till now, lol.
parents are watching the news.
such a parent-y thing,
aha.
fever's all gone and the throat's just slightly hurting.
i've a perpetual headache and like,
after doing smth for awhile,
like watching tv or sitting somewhere,
when i get up to walk somewhere else,
my head spins like crazy and it's awful.
apart from that,
it's 4 months tmr (:
and unofficially half a year (:
and somehow that means a lot to me,
and it makes me really happy
for some reason.
(:
and okay as i'm blogging my head is aching.
should sleep before 12 again today (:
bunch of awesome photos from
treecastle (:
i really wanttt hair like in the last photo (:
it's messy, but neat and niceee.
had a great sunday ytd with j,
and caught Despicable me with him and the bro at night.
that movie's sooo cute and funny. (:
and i love how agnes loves unicorns :D
reached home around ten to a fever :(
(not world cup fever, heh)
must have been all the going out in the sun-aircon-sun-aircon :/
sooo yeah.
crappy ttm.
around 4am,
i hit like 38.5.
burning, seriously.
took some meds
and managed to sleep till 12pm.
fever's subsided to 37.7 now,
but i still feel so shitty.
there's like nothing much to do at home
and it's like i have a perpetual headache.
plus my throat hurts and it's annoying
i needa find smth to eat for lunch,
when what i really want is xlb.
okay i need to think whether to go to j8 for xlb,
or just eat smth bleah at home.
tmr is going to be an
awesome sunday.
church and lunch with the family,
then prolly going w j + ks to get their racepacks,
then there's Despicable Me with j + zac at 7 (:
you cant really go wrong spending the day with people you love.
Got these from
my friend's tumblr(:
quick coffee date + catch up
with lynette and weijie (:
before the NDP (:
took stop motion like photos (yay)
and tried out the three lenses (finally)
and talked (:
then i met the family for the NDP preview (:
I had the privilege of going for the NDP Preview this evening.
It was pretty awesome,
the military vehicles part was really awesome.
the jets were amazing.
the sound when they flew past was incredible.
the songs were pretty awesome too!
sezairi and sylvia are really pretty awesome tgh,
much better than past idol winners
i must admit (:
and hearing them was...nice.
(:
the performances and stuff were good,
never really liked those much.
but watching it on tv,
and seeing it in real life is quite different.
(:
the fireworks were nice as usual,
but i prefered the jets more this time.
(if only there were more jets!)
okayyy i took like 400 photos from the whole parade.
most of the army vehicles and stuff.
but i am so lazy to sort them out now.
so these are just snippets from the parade
and some shots of the fireworks.
there was a column of speakers right in my way.
so the shots look so disrupted by it...
but what to do.
it didnt help that the fireworks were so far away and not over the stage..
so yeah.
but anyways, here're the shots (:
