how do you know if you're ready? when requirements are hazy, and when you always want to deliver your best. i hate to disappoint, and i dont want to get myself into a situation where i cant do what i'm asked to do well enough. i dont know what i'm getting myself into, but at the same time, i know its smth that i want to do. it really is smth that i want to do. and its not the pay. i just, dont know if i'm ready. i really want this. i want to be ready. but what if i'm not good enough.
maybe i should voice my insecurities, to overcome them.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
this is everything that i miss everyday.
everyday.
let's see how it goes.
today was a pretty awesome day. :D and tmr's looking to be great too.
this week's been packed, but i like it like this. anyways i'm starting work soon.
Monday, December 28, 2009
you know that feeling, of being genuinely happy despite some inevitable troubles, that's how i wanna feel.
ohana.
todayyyy (:
went shopping at Ion alone (: it was pretty awesome (:
first stop was Accessorize, with awesome 50% disc. :D got two bracelets, a set of bangles anddd two necklaces (:(:(:(: including the bib one i wanted since before As, and the the bracelet which i posted on this blog before :D
andddd i also walked round checking out the sales at Ion, pretty good discounts, but i didnt really find anything which i really like, and other times i did, but they didnt have my size. that (and of course the crowds) is one of my pet peeves about sales.
haha kay so the main thoughts in my head about Ion sales, here're some updates- the Accessorize sale owns the Diva sale, Pull and Bear sale owns the New Look and Mango sale. Uniqlo has practically no sale. and the River Island sale is lacking in smaller sizes.
thennn i went to taka (: to check out Pull and Bear there, i also popped by Mango (but they didnt have new sale stock, so zzz) the Pull and Bear at taka had nice dresses on sale !!! really ! found a nice soft silky dark blue shirt dress, but M was too big :/
then i headed to 313@somerset and checked out Cotton On, New Look aaand some other stores. nothing much else there, cept crowds. gave F21 a skip cos i had enough of accessories aaand the dressing room queue was incredibly long for a store with no sale, so yeah.
wasnt really planning to spend on anything else but then, New Look had an awesome tee with a horse print, like painted with watercolour, so i had to get it though it wasnt on sale haha.
i also lost my ezlink card lol. and realised it just as i was heading home at somerset. so i had to walk all the way to Pull and Bear at taka, where i suspected it dropped- at the fitting room. and yay it was there. talk about being lucky. (so glad no one took it)
so all in all, today was productive, five hours, three main malls + wisma. (: didnt manage to get smth for someone though :/ think i'm too fussy waiting for the right thing to get, so now i'm still laying out the choices (: haha. ahhhhh. hope i can find smth soon :D (should be able to luh)
(: this week is going to be fun, looking forward to tmr with a4 among other awesome plans for this week (:
and yay i get to wear my new stuff. HAHA.
so boxing day was spent with some of the awesome a4 friends :D it was a good night with food, drinks and greaaat company (: here're some picts from the night (:
yay girls
pulling a cracker under the christmas tree with tingyi :D
a toast, to an awesome 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas this year was really one of the most awesome. I spent most of the night getting drinks for people (lol being in charge of drinks as usual) and carrying my baby cousin Daniela around :D she's the cutest everrrrr. :D
Santa also paid a visit to our place (: which was really cute haha, esp for all the kids!! anddd i got a present too ;D which was a suprise (:
caroling was also awesome -with family and friends (:
all in all the food was really awesome, and that's not even counting the awesome company :D aaand the presents :D
friends're coming over tonight, so i'm looking forward to another awesome christmas gathering :D meanwhile, here're some pretty nice photos from last night's christmas party at my place (: more photos to come :D
caroling time ! :D
santa claus !!!
Dani and I with Santa (: she was terrified though lol.
Zac and Santa :D
Amanda and I :D
and not forgetting, my expanding Pony, Horse and Unicorn collection :D
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas
& a Happy New Year! :D
In this loveliest of seasons, may you find many reasons for happiness.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
and maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our life could pass as sane.
its christmas eve !!! :D and so my 1002nd post will be on christmas :D haha. i'm really excited.
family dinner at my grandparents place. as we always do.
then midnight mass (: thennnn presents time once we're home ! :D three of my presents arent surprises though hehe. two new ponies :D andddd the charles and keith wallet in peach. AWESOME. :D
aha. last night i didnt sleep till like 3am cos i was looking for this treasured bag of stuff. woke up early (and by early i mean earlier than 12pm) and found it under my bed :D happy.
haha. among other lameass hyped stuff, tonight'll be eyeliner debut. oh and the new dress :D awesome. i am still contemplating contacts tonight. though with midnight mass, not sure if i'll be rubbing my eyes :/ will see how i feel. cos i just have two sets of contacts left. then again i dont really like contacts so... will see how it goes.
which reminds me, i really ought to get a new pair of specs so ppl will stop checking my IC lol.
haha okay by now i've realised i've been purely ranting. shrugs.
on other thoughts, i need to meet j to pass him his present and hemant for coffee, and shawnnnn (so hurry back) and hafiz and sam! (we need to have like a pre NS lunch/dinner haha)
my birthday is also less than a month away :D and hopefully once i'm 19 ppl will be checking my IC less. this doesnt make much sense (logically) its really more of a psychological thing.
okaaaay i ought to have lunch now, and i'm having kokokrunch with milk. eating this reminds me of the breakfast buffet when we went to Penang (ages ago.) there was so much stuff to choose from, but i chose kokokrunch. LOLLL. (in defence, i was like less than 10 years old)
anyways, where buffet breakfast is concerned, one day when i'm married, i'm gonna make a buffet breakfast at homeeee. haha okaaay, maybe i should focus on other ideas first. hehe.
happy christmas eve :D
this is my 1000th post here, not that there's much significance to that..
anyways ugh i hate copycats. (doesnt everybody) they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but thats no consolation when you value originality and being unique. its also no consolation when you make my thing your cool thing. you're turning my everyday, into your hyped trend. i'm the trendsetter here, and best part is, i'd rather not be.
sometimes i just feel so ugly, like you wouldnt look twice at me. sometimes i feel like we would never work. i feel so far away from you, when i know that you're near. and yet, you still feel so far away. i hate this waiting.
:"(
you never seem to bother. and i bother so much. i keep telling my head that i care too much, but it all falls deaf on my heart.
i just need a sign. to know if you're worth it.
this will never be easy and i know i chose the harder way.
i am loving this song.
CHRISTMASWILL BEHERE IN ADAY.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
ah i also have more christmas shopping to do tmr morning :/// not looking forward to that, but i guess i'll get it done quickly and pray that the queues everywhere are short.
aaand christmas is coming, coming, coming. cant wait.
wonder if i'll get to see you this christmas.
Avatar was more awesome than i imagined. the whole storyline, pandora, the creatures, the Na'vi.
everything was genius. i have inspiration on what to paint. now i just need to get my hands on the Avatar - creatures of pandora book.
aaand i shall make some green and red sets since CHRISTMAS IS FOUR DAYS AWAY :D edit: as soon as polyvore's working :/
i'm really very happy now, cos my copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste copy and paste
otherwise known as control c and control v, the awesome twins areeeeeeeee working again. YES. must be the anti virus software :D i am going to reblog the polyvore sets :D this is the meaning of cheap thrill yo.
so its monday again and i'm really loving the weekdays more than weekends.
i need a lightbox, among other things.
and i'm looking forward to Avatar tmr with my family.
also, weirdly enough, i'm not looking forward to last minute shopping for christmas presents. i dont really see a point in getting people stuff which they wont 100% like, cos its not really doing your best.. but ah well. recent events have led to this predicament having to be tolerated.
this christmas seems surprisingly...different, to say the least. the idea of not having someone to tell- all i want for christmas is you is definitely refreshing (: though i cant deny that i miss the feeling of being doted on by someone special, to those who know what i mean.
anywayssssssss, i still cant wait for christmas. i mean, its christmas. (:
Sunday, December 20, 2009
you have no idea.
the sentence, "when you're working, you can buy what you want." is so annoying now. i actually want to work, to silence that sentence.
ugh.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
this seems epic. (it just sounds very funny to me heh)
fonteyn says: Im keagan!
since i have been occupying myself with polyvore.com, here're a few sets i've created (:
and freak i cant copy paste the html embed. UGH.
among other news
i dont know why but i think my laptop is screwed cos i cant copy and paste, and its annoying me because copy paste is important for my psd stuff. pfft.
sometimes i feel really bored.
like i'd have a whole ton of things to get done, such as- mailing out my christmas cards, painting, watching movies, going out with people, reading but i can still feel bored. and it just puzzles me.
i guess its partially cos none of those things are really the exact thing we feel like doing, which may not really be the exact thing which we find easy to do. :/ what i'm trying to say is.
where i'm headed, is where i want to go, but it's also where i know i shouldnt really be heading. this keeps getting to me. and i guess, the only consolation i have is that i'm just going to let go, and see where i head.
and hopefully it'll be fine there. yup.
meanwhile, i've decided to head back to choir next year, instead of this year. dont feel secure going back when its just one week before christmas, it isnt really fair.
so with the whole boredom thing, i really cant wait for christmas to come. eventhough this year its going to be different.
Friday, December 18, 2009
todayyyy i went shopping, alone.
i practically went to every Mango in the Orchard area, lol. and and i tried on more than ten pairs of jeans, in more than two stores lol. felt so accomplished after finally settling on a grey pair that fit very nicely (: so there's my first pair of jeans (: cant wait to wear them, though i think i need to alter the length. finally i can wear tees with the jeans instead of shorts/skirts. :D
now i really really REALLY needa get the leopard print top with the sequins from Pull and Bearrrr. (:
okaaaay today was pretty satisfying, taking my own sweet time choosing sizes, and trying on jeans. aaand then lunch at macs by Orchard road, it was a pretty awesome feeling.
i am looking forward to Avatar on tues, esp since fon said it was awesome. i am also looking forward to choir tmr (finally) hopefully they'll understand my absence for the past weeks.
aaand there's Mimic on channel 5 now so i shall go watch (: boredddd.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
not in the best of moods, maybe its a lack of colour or you.
anywayssss i am looking forward to getting the jeans tmr (: checked out the Mango sale today and it looks better than previous years. the fitting rooms are unbelievably small though, and that irks me. esp when trying on jeans. lol. okaaay that was just a trivial issue.
i also wanna get that lipbalm :D it smells damn awesome, and hopefully it'll help with the crack-y lips ;)
i also had an iced caramel macchiato today and it was awesomeeeeeeee. today, i also realised that i really need to start working so that i can get what i want when i want it, and not have to wait and wait, or find different ways and means to obtain it. its getting tiring doing all that, until it dawned upon me that it would be so much less tiring getting it with just, hard earned cash.
this glowing goose lamp is so awesome. its the 21st century goose that laid that golden egg yo.
had a pretty awesome day (: played pool, had lunch, went to the library. (: to sum it up. the company pretty much made me happy lol.
now that its 1232am, i'm still awake, cant sleep. and its been like that. sigh, i wonder what's bothering me.
anyways, i am set to do more painting tmr.
and then there's the choir dilemma. missed choir cos of stomachflu-indigestion last week, and if i go this week, its just one practice before christmas, so i'm not sure if its being fair to the rest and all. sigh its prolly what's been troubling me. gotta think through it hard.
apart from that. i shall go try to sleep soon.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
1. Leopard prints tee with sequins from Pull and Bear 2. Embellished top from Flesh Imp 3. A nice pair of jeans.
thats about it yo. cant wait for christmasssssssssssssss.
today was awesome :D shopped at Taka, 313@somerset then the heeren and rafflescity&marina square.
(: spent the most time at taka, owing to the taka vouchers won at prom (: managed to get eyeliner :D loving paul and joe's packaging. the Benefit eyeliner was kinda fatttt.
got presents for people there too :D then i took photos with the christmas trees around there LOL. so un-me-ish, but wtheck. (: it was pretty fun.
thennnnn walked around heeren (: and i wanna eat at TGIF's!! (: there's nothing much at heeren now compared to the other malls though.
the next stop was 313 which is really a mall that i'm growing to like. there's 4 floors of Forever21, uniqlo, new look Diva and other small shops- all in the same malllllllllllllllll. :D so its pretty nice. its missing a topshop and river island, but then i guess that mall itself would contain a large percentage of the fashion retail industry's arket share. okayyy shant elaborate on the econs lol.
thennnnn we headed to City Hall (: i like City hall too though, thanks to the proximity to Marina Square and SIXXXXX (of which the only other outlet is in Vivo) only dislike the smell of citylink mall after Adidas. he niwa sushi stinks up the whole place. ugh. gets me every time.
anywayssss at fourskin there's damn awesome tiedye leggings, which i really wanna get, cept for the fact 1. I dont like wearing leggings in the first place- i prefer shorts 2. I dont have that many long tees/tunics/short dresses to wear it with.
so yeah i think maybe i will be better of spending that $ elsewhere. haha.
and i was thinking, randomly one of the better cash vouchers to get would be from Pull and Bear (: they're pretty much still my fav brand, love their colour schemes, apart from Mango- (which is starting their sale tmr after 2pm :O)
okaaaay so anyways i shall post a wishlist up soooooon- since christmas (and kinda my birthday) is coming (:
shopping and hanging out with friends, with no work to come home to, makes me feel like its the holidays, and i'm freeeeee.
awesome fun with the bunchies :D love much.
dinner time !!
rockband yo.
yay present!
happy 18th birthday swah :D
ytd was swah's birthday celebration dinner at jumbo at ecp before she flies off for sydney today (: HAPPY 18th SWAH :D
aaand then we headed to here place again to play rockbanddddd till almost midnight then we had the cake and her mum offered to send us home. (all 7 of us) it was like being in a school minibus. somewhat haha.
i proceeded to stay awake till 2plus am, waiting for shaaawn to touch down. my eyes are dying this morning, going shopping at taka though, they'll have to do their best to stay open lol.
kayyyy i dont wanna be late so, ciao (:
Monday, December 14, 2009
life needs more magicccc. and i'm getting there, really. (: happy sigh.
i just have to get that unicorn ring- at allllll costs.
someone please tell me the difference and help me choose. lol. i figure a non liquid eye liner is the basic make up thing i ought to have. and there are too many types, too many brands. how to choose ! (help please.) so far i like Benefit, Stila and MAC. but i have to use my taka voucher and i doubt there's a stila counter in the department store, same for mac, and not sure whether there's benefit. AH make up is confusing.
and the rest of this post is pretty much, random yup. among other things, visiting the doctor today means that i finally figured what wrong with my stomach. indigestionnnn. so i should be feeling better sooner, with the right meds.
anyways i have gotten my appetite back, which is good, i guess?
i am looking forward to shopping on tuesday :D though it'll be too late to get swah's present :/ so ah will have to see how. (: the squidhead beanie seems less desirable now, but i still wanna get it man :/ i also wanna wear my pink adidas sneakers more eventhough school's out.
(: i also was thinking, i wanna get red or green or christmas-y coloured stockings haha. i usually dont like leggings of stockings, cos they're long and hot but yeah lol.
and i also need to get running lol. i seem to procrastinate when it comes to exercising, since slacking tends to exclude the idea of running. and now's the hols when i'm supposed to be slackinggg.
i wanna post more fashion related ish stuff somehow. though i'm totally into dark blue-black-grey tones. and accessories wise, i pretty much wear whatever i like or feel like haha. (to think i wanted to wear the squidhead to prom heh) sooooooooooo yeah lol.
anywayssss i am so hungry nowwww. mum's putting up new curtains ! (: the land before time lol. okaaaay they went shopping at j8 and bhg is having 20% off storewide this weekend, pfft shall drop by tmr or smth.
okay call me slow but polyvore.com is the new love.
Friday, December 11, 2009
just say yes by snow patrol makes me cry. because its like what youre telling me. and i dont know the words to say.
its not that easy.
okay, okay
i know i dont like miley cyrus much. but i gotta admit, i like this song pretty much. it makes me feel good. cant say much for the mv but the tune and lyrics are pretty catchyyy.
(:
this is so even despite the killer stomach pains. finally gonna see a doctor tmr (since both of the clinics are closed tonight) so hopefully they'll figure whats wrong with my stomach. hope its just gastric, but i doubt it.
sigh. i hope i'll be feeling a whole lot better before choir at 130 tmr. (:
and yes, i dont like admitting this kinda thing, but i cant wait for sunday. sigh. this is bad.
fevers are horrible.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
today, nothing much happened, fever again, on and off. been popping panadols. (which i just realised, might explain the laxative effect)
the new pillow from ikea and photo frames to deco, as well as the cotton on vest thingy, makes it slightly better. but it still pretty much s.u.c.k.s.
sigh. i hope the friends can come over tmr for some board games. to make this less sian. dont wanna let them catch any germs though.
apart from that, i am looking forward to choir on saturday (SO I NEED TO GET BETTER BY TMR) and shopping on tues :D
faster come back from youknowwhere please.
(: more prom photos (: these're taken by nad (: (thanks loads babe :D)
the walk in (: where they played, You belong with me (fyi, i'm not dating the prom king if you were wondering)
prom queen finalists about to catwalk tgh (:
doing the catwalk!
and then of course, there's our talent item- the tango -