I think I've posted this before. But i like this song, especially the part about "where we can finally, be where we'd like to be."
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
TODAY (:
tried sending out the emails in the morning today, but so many things were in the way- hotmail mostly. still not sure how that issue has been settled but we just have to wait i guess. its like hotmail suddenly decided to be paranoid of spammers today PFFT.
anyways moving on, dropped by RI to drop the mac off, then headed to nus to drop of applications, bus ride was about 40 mins. not too bad (: if i cut down the bus waiting time and traffic jam it would actually be quite fast cos barely anyone gets on that bus lol..
so anyways after taking a while to locate the admissions building (the rain was terrible) applications are finally submitted. still need to do the usp stuff though PFFT. TMR i'll do it (heh)
then headed to sr to pass sarah notes aaand pass him the book yayyy (big smile) spent some time then went homeee.
dinner was good, and here i am now. eyes feel tiredddd. been sleeping at 2 plus am and waking up at 9. makes me sleep better i think. like, i totally sleep through the night and not wake up and toss and turn.. mhmm.
(: looking forward to the weekend. :D
todaaaay.
busy, busy. ended work at 9! but i was productive all the way (: like it that way.
bused home for dinner (: then drafted the emails to be sent once i get confirmation (:
slept at 2 ytd, my dark eye rings are seriously there to stay :/ among other things, i'm considering trying out a fringe (though i know i'll prolly get annoyed by it too soon) orrr highlighting my hair. cant decide. i'm bored with how it's been for 19 years though lol. (:
tmr, emails to send out then prolly going to nus to drop my documents off (finally) then complete my usp essays (sian) then maybe drop my sr to pass sarah notes (:
the weather today wasnt too bad, considering that it rained. its not as humid as i'd have expected though its a pretty warm night..
okay i have nothing else to say, getting more boring by the day (rhymes)
(: smth interesting ought to happen soon.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
you make it real for me.
i just realised there wasnt a single smiley in that post :/ think i'm really tired from staring at the laptop and typing for work.
aaandwhatsnew-imisstheboyfpfft.
just realised that i didnt blog much today? too lazy to post photos from timbre last night. work is starting to get busy, quite a number of things to get done :/ working on that now though, just left with the community personas and the sketching of the starwood concepts :/ sounds like only two things, but it's alot.
anyways, today was boring. had relatives over for my sister's 16th birthday but it was just a small thing. and i guess this is kinda an excuse but its my time (ofthemonth) so i feel really crappy and bloated. didnt eat a thing cept for drinking four cups of tea and two (thin) slices of strawberry cheesecake (yummy) didnt talk to the relatives much other. just kept cutting hearts out of the awesome heart wrapping paper i got from art box. and stayed in the room. it was that boring. really.
texted the boyf for awhile then now's work time i guess. cant wait to be done with it. but tmr i'll have another thing to do :S
nothing has been getting my mind off things. still need to go to nus on tues or wed to submit my documents, make payment tmr. thennnn apply for usp. the two essays.....so not looking forward to them.
nevertheless... i'm looking forward to tues afternoon. cos the heavy load will be done with by then yeah. other than that, there really isnt anything to look forward to. except perhaps completing nus applications FOR GOOD.
apart from all the workstuff and unistuff, jealousy is a bitch
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Had an awesome morning and lunch with the cousins at aunty bevy's place (: the two of them are the cutest kids ever, period. haha, and i'm such a softie for daniela lol.
the weather's crazy hot now though, just got back a short while ago and decided to paint my toenails like, for once lol. normally i'm too lazyyyy.
being busy is kinda the only thing that gets my mind off you, i realised lol. random..zzz.
timbre tonight should be fun (only thing is we gotta go early to queue queue queue.) i should prolly try drinking something NEW today. mocktails and baileys are getting BORING. been meaning to try a good alcoholic mix or smth. see how it goes, the rest should be able to advise haha. (:
meeting sam later should be fun haha. its a surprise thing so i'll blog about it when i get home tonight or tmr. (: i'm gonna bring my camera out too, so it should be less wordy here, and more photograph-y. (:
okaaay i have a some work to do (YES, WORK) before getting ready to leave home at 5. cant waittttttttt. smoked duck pizza here i come.
Friday, March 26, 2010
before the post for the day, i realised i've been joining those lovey fb groups like become a fan of I love it when someone you miss randomly texts you :) and a whole lot of other stuff. and i think it kinda reflects the state of mind i'm in lol. i guess i have nothing else to worry about now except work, so 50% of my thoughts (or more) are about you and us. lol.
anyways, today. work was good. it was a busy day so time flew by (i like busy days more lol) and before i knew it, it was time for tabitha's performance. went for dinner at koufu then back to ij (: they did animal farm, which was pretty okay. (: i did a whole lot of typing the whole day today, so i'm really quite tired from typing...
so yeah, update on sunday? tmr's timbre with the a4 usuals, and dani and matteo in the morning (: cant wait.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
today was an awesome day (:
work in the morning, then dental, then smu then dinner with amanda and ian (:
it was all good. food at Out of the Pan is really awesome. enjoyed the meal thoroughly. (:
bought a cute book from hmv for the boyf. it's really perfect and everything cant wait till he reads it (:
shopped around for a bit after an early dinner, then headed to new look at 313 where i saw black skinny jeans on saleee. tried them on and they fit really well so it was good (: got them, so yay, finally a pair of black pants.
got pissed at my parents over uni applications just now. so annoyed. shant talk about this anymore. at least i'm done with nus applications, with the exception of usp :S which is the killer part. so yeah, enough about this. it makes me so annoyed. zzz.
thennn i got an invitation to college day to receive some award which didnt exist during last years college day lol. so its kinda confusing haha. dont really know what its for but it sounds good (:
been feeling damn fat these few days, honestly, though my weight is still the same. so idk what's up :S
i suddenly feel like eating at fish and co lol. or the fries at dan ryans.
anyways that was random heh. feeling pretty sian though i'm convinced it's a moodswing lol. okay i shall dwell on memories heh. nothing much to do online now, too tired and my eyes are too dry to use the laptop already.
i'm looking forward to work tmr (: (though its at 830 am :O yawn) aaand wearing the new skinnies (yay) then there's drama night tmr at ijtp sec (:
forever is a scary place.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
but this time, this time, it's really harder than i thought it would be.
dont feel like blogging tonight, things are alright and everything, but i just dont feel...right. feel sian.. i guess its cos i keep realising that this is waaay harder than i thought it would be, but yeah, trying to deal with it mhmm.
think this week's 90210 had too little of liam and no ivy, making it kinda boring and sad cos of adrianna and navid. after watching it, felt kinda sian and emo. this happens all the time when i watch 90210. not sure whether it's cos watching it makes me idealistic or smth :S shouldnt be cos i'm conscious about it.
sr with lynette and gina made it better i guess. dinner with jess too. hearing the boyf for like a minute too i guess.
and i still havent applied to nus. so much for promising to get it done by today. just no mood now i think :S i'll do it by FRIDAY. yeah. by friday. i hate this whole procrastination thing, but i keep doing it. zzz.
with all that said, i think i'm having a moodswing. yeahhh.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Found this off a fb page and i dont agree with all of them, but i guess i can identify with most of them. (i've bolded the numbers of those i especially liked) See what you think-
43 things a girl wished her boyf knew.
#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
#3 When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.
#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.
#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.
#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.
#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
#13 When she's scared, protect her.
#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
#17 When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
totally #19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
yesss #24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
#25 Don't let her have the last word.
#26 Don't call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.
#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.
#29 When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.
haha agreed #30 When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.
#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
#33 Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
#34 Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.
#35 Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
#37 Let her into your world.
#38 Let her wear your clothes.
#39 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
#40 Let her know she's important.
#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.
AWW #42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"
#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.
NO WONDER GUYS SAY THAT GIRLS ARE DEMANDING.
work today ended three hours later than expected, workshop was rushy and all, which explains why in the end we decided to extend it, but it was great (: one of the best workshops i've helped with so far (: the participants were from all over, like loadsa different countries like the US, india, shanghai, japan.. so it was a fun mix ! (: and the outcomes were pretty good. enjoyed myself overall, and it was a good experience helping them to ideate and all. enjoyed that part best. :D
bused home from RI after dropping off the stuff. dinner at home was good too (: mhmm. meeting tmr morning at 930am then gonna be off work tmr afternoon- heading to smu to drop off application stuff (zzz.) then nothing planned for the evening so far (:
been in a relatively good mood- prolly owing to 2/3 uni applications more or less complete and one more left (which i'll get done TMR, i promise.) which means no more nagging from the mother.
then everything else is fine and awesome so that's good. (: its basically that that's keeping me happy mhmm.
Monday, March 22, 2010
haha i know i dont get to see the boyf every day but its getting better, somehow. told my parents bout the dude today, and they werent shocked or appalled so all's good (: i think thats prolly the reason why i managed to finally apply to ntu and smu- cos i had the parents-accepting-my-boyf thing out of my head.
happy.
too tired today to start with uni application essays, (you can see how procrastination works) i will start tmr night, i promise. or maybe later when i feel like it heh. or maybe i'll apply to ntu and smu first. lol.
work today was fun, recce-ing the levi's stores around orchard before tmr's workshop was good (: i like quite a number of tees, the guy's ones mostly lol. the guy's levi's stuff is nicer, i find.
then we headed to st regis, to set up for the workshop tmr (: quite looking forward to that, though i'm pretty :S abt the prototype segment... so yeah (: mhmm. wednesday and thursday will be light days, half day off to submit documents at nus and ntu and then dental and climbing on thurs. (ahhhh i have to kill my nails on thurs ): ) but yeah (: looking forward to the rest of the week, though your absence is evident.
Gonna squeeze in a morning post before heading off to work today, which will prolly end late :/
just realised that i didnt blog abt ytd lol. sooooo, ytd ! church, lunch, starbucks with sarah anddd met the boyf to pass him some stuff (: then home. detoured to get vegetables at cold storage for my mum, but all the salad leaves looked like they'd already been nibbled on by rabbits or something..... so i didnt get any in the end (:
that's about it, sunday wasnt much (bet you can guess what the highlight was) haha.
i've also managed to sort out my thoughts regarding uni, most likely not applying to adm, unless some sudden realisation dawns upon me. i figured its too much effort when that isnt what i want to do in the end. feel so much more at ease after making that decision. aaand yeah i'm gonna force myself to start with all the application essays btwn the course of tonight and tmr night, hoping to apply by wednesday. and get the documents over on thurs or fri. (i dont even know what documents are needed at the moment :S) i keep thinking to myself- why cant this be like psle school choosing. or jc even. aha oh well, guess cos it's uni. applications shouldnt be a deterrent, but they surely feel like one.
kay on to work today, going to help prepare for a workshop, put together all the materials for tmr's workshop at st regis. then prolly recce-ing the levi's stores which we're bringing the participants to tmr. okaaaaay i better get going off to work. cant decide what to wear all the time :S i really need a pair of black slacks or jeans. i keep wearing my blue ones, cos the grey mango one i bought is like two sizes too big.
(: anddd somehow i'm feeling very happy today.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
timbaland's facial expressions in this video really make me laugh, but i like both of their voices tgh, sounds good.
i'm feeling kinda lazy to provide captions for each of the photos lol, but these're the ones from climbing on saturday (: (try not to laugh haha) and also some shots from my first manicure session with 3/10 of the clique (:
Saturday, March 20, 2010
found the lyrics to this song on jessica's blog. and i really find them meaningful and i like this song. (i've always liked corinne may)
i think i'm ready for the world to know, no regrets.
(:
woke up early today to meet amanda briana swah and teow for climbing at climbasia. did pretty alright for a first timer haha. it was fun, i think a climbed alot, cos i ended up with blisters from the shoes :S (like bleeding blisters) and one blister on my head. the muscles arent aching yet, but i'm pretty sure that by tmr they will be (: good that i like the ache heh. (: bouldering was pretty fun, took quite a number of photos, will post them when swah uploads them (:
after like two hours of climbing we headed to city square for lunch at ljs. i'm loving that mall! (though i cant see how its eco friendly when i'm pretty sure that the air con is far from 25 deg which is the environmentally friendly temperature. it was freezing.) its really big, spacious and there's shops. it'd be perfect if there was a cinema there (: it also wasnt very crowded (plus point) anddd there's yoguru :D
briana left for tuition then the four of us went for a mani at Eden. it was pretty nice, for a first time lol. (first time climbing, first time going for a mani- what a contrast) i thought the woman was kinda rough and not very good though, i think i still prefer doing my own nails. the cuticle cutting is scary. my nails are now like dark grey and matte, its OPI's new sueded range, its really a nice colour !! it looks like graphite but its not glossy ! :D teow and swah did theirs in the red-pink and amanda in the blue- all from the same range (: (shall post photos when i get them from swah (: )
walked around with teow after that, till we got bored of the place, and now i'm homeeee (: (waiting for you to be home)
thanks swah for loaning me your polaroid ;)
Friday, March 19, 2010
second to studies.
i think i'm a weakling when i say i cant wait for work to end. its like, i think that when work ends i can live how i want and everything will be okay. only thing, where's the income going to come from.
and i am ver.... scared of how things are going to be the next few months. the main issue is that we have different priorities. and i know that, its just harder to deal with than i thought it would be.
been buying ear studs this week. i've got a serious ear stud fetish that isnt going to end soon. haha, imagine if one day it gets so bad that i bring different studs out in my bag, so that halfway while out shopping or whatever, i can change earrings. that would be too....funny. lol.
(: looking forward to tmr !
i think this is my favourite song to date.
mum's been nagging at me, to no end. managed to get the unicorn tee from new look (: it compensates for the awful cold i'm having. cant wait to wear it out (:
shops like f21 and new look need more tees and tops with unicorns or horses. it'll be really awesome to have a wardrobe full of unicorn or horse tees (: though i guess it would get boring after awhile, haha. (: so anyways, i have zero plans for tmr. i want to run off to starbucks early, go to a powerpoint and stay there for hours, until i'm done with all the uni application essays.
but it'll prolly be so crowded and j8 only has coffeebean (dont like) so i guess for now i'm plan-less. shall make some plans soon. i hope it doesnt rain tmr ! rain really makes everything so gloomy.
falling sick (prolly due to the lack of sleep) so i didnt head to work today, i keep sneezing non stop (i think its also cos of the cold weather :S)
cant wait to get the new look unicorn tee from amanda (splurge again) andddd i've also got the new earrings from f21.
my ears havent been accustomed to dangly earrings thanks to the stud trend i've been into, but i guess i ought to try since there are awesome nice ones at f21.
among other things, i've been treating my tumblr like its private lol. waiting for my mum to come home with the jaygee card to get twenty percent later heh. but all i'm really, really doing is waiting for you to be back.
havent been so (if i can call this) sweet and lovey and i guess, cheesy in a long while so... sorry to readers if its so ewww and gross haha. cos sometimes when i read back i'll be like, wth so cheesy.
yeah. haha anddd i also had a super weird dream ytd. i dreamt that my wedding was in a swimming pool. then for the bride's walk in the flower girls and ring bearers were all in swimsuits walking through the water, too funny okay. totally laugh worthy if you can imagine it correctly. haha.
my brother's friends are over and they're playing Xbox, they are soooo noisy, shouting at each other- their talking volume is like volume ten its crazy. cant wait for my mum to get home with the card so i can leaveeeee. going to take a shower now.
(and she's home.) my nose is running like crazy. i'm stuffing tissue up it, i know, gross lol. though yeah sometimes i can be really unglam lol.
she's nagging at me abt uni applications like EVERY DAY. it's so annoying. i am going to be so elated when i've finally applied so i cant wait to get this over and done with, REALLY.
(hurry come home, boy. want you to be there when i think through.)
its funny how i think that your presence makes everything better. at least, being next to you makes me think; clearer. come and sit by me?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
in a bad mood now, so i think this post is prolly going to be short.
been very busy the past two days, hanging out and working. managed to get my upper retainer replaced today though.
uni applications are stressing me out. the usp essays, ntu essay and adm portfolio. not forgetting preparing all the documents and all. but i guess i shouldnt be complaining since my grades got me to uni mhmm. trying not to..
to kill a mockingbird ytd was good, it was nice and clear and i thought the cast was quite strong, apart from some irregular and inconsistent accents. company was awesome and that was the highlight.
today i woke up early at 530am, detoured, dental (waited for eons to see the dentist, seriously.) people should miss appointments more to make gaps heh. then home then dinner with the classmates.
didnt have time to do any work or portfolio stuff. so shagged.
all the portfolio putting tgh and essays are KILLING me. seriously. i've barely started and there's like four essays to write in total, plus they're all pretty different. i feel so stressed out.
wish you were here. k portfolio time.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
hi i think i havent really been blogging much (feels like it) cos i've been so tired with workshops and running here and there.
today was pretty good (: had lunch with you and then got some workstuff. then popped by the library to pick up some books.
i'm reading- 50 famous artists you should know Women & Leadership Art in New Media Big book of inspiring illustrations
(: hope i can retain 60% of what i read (: and be inspired enough to write something awesome for uni application essays (which i need to get done by the end of this week, must not let procrastination get the better of me)
then there's the play tmr which i am looking forward to (: and of course, spending time with you. (cant wait to knock off work tmr !!!)
so yeah all in all today was good, managed to get quite a number of things done (: went for dinner at chomps with the family, the chicken wings and stingray are killing my throat nowwww :S
okay it's only 9pm and like i'm already fighting to keep my eyes open :S think i'm going to watch tv and see if there's CSI (: havent watched CSI in so long. aaalright, will prolly blog after tmr cos i'm gg out tmr night (:
Monday, March 15, 2010
i think half the world (term for alot) knows i'm happy, judging from facebook and tumblr and here (: though i guess only 1 percent know why (:
so yeah day 1 and everything's looking awesome (:
ran a workshop with the RI boys today. pretty tiring, heading to vivo for lunch was good though, and time really flew during the workshop so i guess it was good (: nothing much else happened today, cept that i watched the matrix revolutions (like finally) aaand the guy who comes to collect payment for the newspapers was banging INCESSANTLY on my house door. it was scary, honestly.
lol. havent been doing much shopping recently, which is good i guess? though i have been getting random tendencies to get things for certain people (esp you) so its quite funny cos people dont just buy stuff for others randomly? yeah.
today i also realised that i am totally a soft toy lover. despite the dust which totally makes me sneeze and all, i love soft toys like they're real animals (:
okaaay i think this blog is getting boring, but it's only boring cos my day has been so-so. been having clear thoughts about uni courses and all, so it's good. it's already two weeks into march, leaving me with just two weeks to apply :S i think i better get down to it this thurs! (no more procrastination with those essays lol)
haha so yeah, tmr it's the workshop again (: wont be needing my laptop so i wont have to lug stuff around (yay) though my house is just fifteen mins from work (heh) aaand after tmr it's wednesday :D cant wait (:
Sunday, March 14, 2010
(: today was the usual, church and lunch (: had lunch at Anatolia at Far east, turkish restaurant (: quite nice (:
then went to isetan's supermarket, loadsa cool stuff at the kyushu fair but i was feeling so grumpy so i was just like quiet the whole time lol. yeah.
then home, then the parents were awesome to let me out for dinner on sunday (: (this is rare) (: so met the three of them for dinner at ps (: it was nice. (haha)
trained home and from there on everything was awesome. (: that's all i'm saying for now. haha fb has got ppl knowing what's up, deleted the thread already (: if i think you should know i'll tell you (: if you think i forgot, ask me? but yeah (: for now, haha, dont do too much detective work la, it's nothing much to know lol.
i'm just happy now and i hope we're on the road to happiness with less disappointment than rainy days. (: i love you and i know you're a keeper.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
(sorry for the lack of posts, been really shagged)
the past three days with you have been really awesome. but somehow i still get the feeling that i'm more into this than you. though i guess that is something very unfair to sayyy. so yeahhh.
boulderactive in the morning was nice, they did well i thought (: and you exceeded your aim so i was happy.
then i cabbed to clementi to pick sam up then head to nus.
the openhouse was good, managed to get ALL my questions answered. and now, sociology is looking appealing. it's really a tough decision, so i'm glad that we dont have to declare our major till we're sure of it. with that said, i'm really hoping and looking forward to FASS and prolly USP (: looking forward to everything about uni. (except the idea of distance)
yeah. the whole thought of being separated from you really bugs me 24/7. i dont know why but it makes me feel all shitty and makes me feel like sighing. okayyy before i get all emo and rant-y, i'll end this post. yup.
Friday, March 12, 2010
sometimes i dont understand myself. how i can be all sad one moment, and then composed the next. i think i need to learn to hide my feelings better. to conceal them, until i'm sure about them.
i'm sure that i'm sure about you. so lets make this work please.
we really need to have a good long talk tomorrow (later today actually). and hopefully, things will be better then. (: i'm still looking forward to later today (: it's finally friday (this is delayed hype) but yeah, after everything, i'm not losing you. (:
Thursday, March 11, 2010
today was a really happy day went for zac's sports day which was fun, had a good happy lunch, then had fun at work and uncle nic got me new camera lens (: the one i wanted for portraits and with the blurry background, totally psyched about using it soon.
so yeah the whole day has really, really been so awesome. up till now.
now i just feel like you dont understand me. when i need you you're comforting someone else. and yeah maybe she needs you more. but really. where can i draw the line. how will i know where to draw it. you have to be the one to draw it. and if you're not willing to draw the line. sigh ):
i'm just really torn up now. i'm sorry ):
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
okay this is different from the usual morning post lol.
got off work around 4 plus then went home to catch ep13 of 90210 (YAY) then headed to Orchard around 6 for some retail therapy, and to get stuff from Art friend (:
i think somehow or other, watching 90210 makes me feel more needy and clingy and it makes me feel emo, somehow? idk why. it makes me have doubts lol. shopping sort of helped me sort things out though. (:
it helps me get my mind off the things that're bugging me, eventhough i guess most of the time its temporary... but yeah (: got my cards from Artfriend, Pull&bear didnt have the top i wanted (sadly) went to Accessorize at Ion but didnt see what i was looking for. Found it at the Accessorize at Taka though (: so i got the earrings yay. (shall wear them tmr though i am currently in love with the Topshop Catch Me heart earrings that i JUST got on Sunday) couldnt resist getting a thin striped tee from Mango too :D since it was nineteen (:
oh i also got grey highlighter from Taka :D awesome, GREY highlighter you know! lol.
then i headed to j8 to meet Jessica for DTF (: yay xiao long bao. i wasnt that hungry eventhough i only ate two siew mais for lunch hurr. it's the buffet from ytd. i ate for three hours (imagine that) and i cant rmb if i've already said this. lol.
ANYWAYS :D tmr's thursday, meaning it's just one day till friday (: and i think tmr will be nice too. awesome. :D
overall today was a good day, i really liked the weather (: if only it rained overnight every night, then mornings would be cool and not humid (i hope) :D
okay i have to wake at 530 to go for my bro's sports day tmr so i think i better go zzz now (:
its raining, and i'm having a somewhat stomachache from dinner ytd hahaha. totally pigged out man (: so much for losing weight, damn. hopefully i'll go back to pre buffet weight soon (minus the gastric haha)
anyways the weather today is far from conducive to exercising lol. i should contemplate doing steps like pre vietnam trip. could climb twenty storeys then ! i'll prolly die halfway now lol.
so anyways ! i had to get the Alice in Wonderland soundtrack. been dying to get some awesome soundtrack from a movie, and so Alice in Wonderland did the trick. (only annoyed at the fact that i got conned getting the cd at That Cd Shop for $22.20, when it was only $17.90 at HMV pfft !
among other things, friday's coming ! (: as you would know, i've been looking forward to friday (still am mhmm)
for today, work's looking light, tmr morning is zac's sport's day, i really hope the weather is awesome sunny, cos i am secretly hoping to get sunburnt tmr at the serangoon stadium :D (wish me sun please)
okayyyy among other things, i have no existing peeves to rant about, except the occasional doubt or worry, which is very much normal at this stage i guess. i mean, yeahhhh. i guess right now, the one thing that would be awesome, is if we could be in our own bubble, without a care of worry in this world, just doing our own thing, and without having to bother about inviting criticism and comments and speculation and snide remarks (now you see how complicated this could get.)
from experience, i dont think it's very easy surviving what other people say, i mean, even if you dont give a shit about what people say i mean, those who dont know a thing, are in no position to comment anyways right? but no, somehow or other they will always get to you, and you can never be a hundred percent deaf to their words. something will be bothering you like a nag, and this time around, i'm really having doubts as to how i will handle that, because to tell you the truth, i am sick and tired of having to explain myself, explain why i do what i do, and in this case, explain why i like him, how i could like him and everything.
what i'm trying to say is, i shouldnt have to explain to anyone. i shouldnt have to give a shit about what you think, or what you think, or what you think. it's my decision, and if that changes your perspective of me, i wonder if i should care, or whether i should just tell myself that it's not worth bothering about. right now, i dont know if that matters.
and i wish that someone would just clear all this up for me. it's like a huge drop of coloured dye droppping into a pail of clear water, its slowly diffusing everywhere, and pretty soon the water is going to be coloured.
okay so much for not having anything to rant about.
Monday, March 08, 2010
RANDOM POST.
i think i've been neglecting my bangles, and dangly earrings. nowadays i'm like accustomed to ear studs and rings, and that's about it. oh well?
work today was pretty alright (: managed to come up with a few workable logos by now (: pretty happy. apart from that, i'm looking forward to the buffet tmr (i only wish you were there) :D
then of course, there's friday, which i am totally looking forward to. going with gina to take photos of coursework, then there's the council sharing, then dinner (: (lol i cant wait.)
anyways i think the recent spike in page views is prolly accredited to A levels. if it doesnt go down soon though, for the benefit of privacy i'm prolly gonna make this private haha, what a lousy excuse for being able to say whatever shit i want without being judged by random people who pop by (thought i would be able to overcome that insecurity by now, but apparently not..)
okaaay so there's work today so i wont be blogging next till tonight i guess? [and this is really random and unrelated but i've been taking an interest to fash blogs recently so i guess even though i am such a comfort dresser, i might be contemplating blogging to a more fashion-ish slant, just saying lol]
got some fun stuff to settle today, looking forward to it (kinda) though i'm still home (yawn)
i am also amazed by a recent phenomenon, i think i should aptly call it the single-for-awhile-already phenomenon. the longest stretch i've been single is six months i think? i'm not even sure. now that i'm almost losing that singledom again, i just hope you know that i know what i'm doing, and that just because i've been dating more than i've been single, it doesnt mean i'm not independent (pfft.)
i am also amazed by the single-for-awhile-already phenomenon. because if it's not that that makes me go to sleep thinking of you and wake up thinking of you, then its gotta be you (:
this is really random stuff.
-i miss vietnam more often than i mention. -i loved tim burton's alice in wonderland i want to watch it again and this quote when alice told the hatter "You are mad. But I have a secret to tell you. All the best people are." made me almost cry (lol dont laugh luh) because she was being so genuine and consoling with just those words and that's really hard to do.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
today was pretty awesome. i'll save you the reading with a point form post with some keywords/phrases lol.
survived in 13 cm heels, had northern indian food for lunch, yummy salad for dinner, love, secret starbucks with sarah, style magazine, iced caramel macchiato, yummy salad spread, facebook.
that's about it, nothing much happened today lol.
anyways, i'm pretty much looking forward to friday this week, and thurs - going for my brother's sport's day lol. also looking forward to the launch of the paul and joe alice in wonderland range pfft. the bimbo-kanchiong spider in me HAS to make sure that i get a set at all costs.
apart from that there's nothing much happening this week, but friday should be a lot :D happy.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
this photo links to my tumblr. click on it :D
i suddenly feel obliged to blog more often. (must be the surge in page views) haha i also decided i should put up a permanent link to my tumblr here. (: watch out for it :D
spending time reading up on courses now. comms and new media looks the most appealing to me now (: hoping to minor in geog if that's not too much to handle too. (: just gonna see where i can go from here (thats what everyone's doing right)
the weather is sweltering. i can almost picture mirages over every surface, cos it really feels that hot. anyways, the sun is going down soon, so it should be cooler then. (:
dinner tonight, then icecream with my cousinsssss yay. (but i think they might be sleeping lol)
anyways among other things, this could be the start of something new is the song that embodies how things are. literally and as an analogy.
i'm really looking forward to studying again (yes i'm a nerd i do miss studying hurr never thought i'd say this though) and really hoping to get into NUS FASS now. (: (initially i wanted ADM but now i think i'm more suited for NUS FASS) looking forward to everything from here on now.
:D i also like where this is going :D really really really. i havent felt this happy in awhile. ♥ :D
HAHA OMG STOMP was at SR on results day. so there are like unglam photos of people's reactions upon receiving their results. including me lol.
today, i got a view from the top of Fansipan mountain again. (no amount of blogging can actually represent how happy and relieved i feel. everything has paid off.)
Friday, March 05, 2010
haha okay so as usual, everyone is anticipating the results day blog post (: here goes. (but this post doesnt really do justice to the happiness and comfort i feel now, but yeah i guess its okay and i'm so damn tired from the stressing out on previous days)
was a nervous wreck the whole morning, really keeping it in and everything. prone to grabbing fon and sarah's arms upon seeing them and not forgetting all the random outbursts of paranoia and freaking out (ON A MAJOR SCALE)
Seeing all the 80 pointers being mentioned and wondering where i was made me feel like crying (honestly) although 80 was what i had been aiming for, i told myself before today that i would be content with 76. (i guess it was a prepare-for-the-worst thing) and with every slide my heart raced even more because i didnt see my name there. but finally being mentioned with 79 points made me relieved to the max. i instantly cried.
its really hard to explain this experience. i mean, coming to sr with 18 points, screwing up O's when i studied hard for it, and having the worst day of my life ever, really made me want to make sure i did what it took so that A levels results day would be the total opposite. and seeing that happen, really just made me so happy.
(and i think this is the general sentiment of an srjcian who scored during As.) it was knowing that i proved myself, and that i didnt disappoint, that made me happy. knowing that for once, in a very very long while, i had lived up to my expectations. i made my parents proud of me, and somewhat i consider it to be a redemption of doing badly for O's.
i will not hesitate to say that SR has been one of the happiest places i have been to. not like shopping malls or whatever (LOL) more like, in terms of the experience it has given me, and how i've grown as a person. it has really shaped me and driven me. and with all the guidance from my teachers, it really makes me love the place. (its like a second home, really)
and with an average of 70 points ! i'm really happy for SR. class of 2009 really did an awesome job this year. improved by alotttttt (cant rmb exactly) but Mr Tan was really thrilled.
kay before i start getting all long winded, what i'm trying to say is, i'm really pleased with the 79. i got Bs for geog and econs. (which i am happy for, esp geog since i thought i screwed it up badly) B for GP (which, is kinda disappointing, but i guess i'm okay with it since generally i did good) As for H1 math (haha happy about this) and PW (lol) and C for art. Most disappointed with the C, but i guess, knowing that i deserved at least a B, and that the effort i had put in deserved better, is compensation enough. (it also helps that overall its still okay, and that miss kwa wasnt disappointed but shocked and said i ought to have at least B)
so overall, happy :D:D:D knowing that my parents and teachers are proud of me is a feeling i havent really felt in a long time. (especially content with certainty now, what a contrast to ytd) so yeah :D
happy. though i'm feeling really sleepy after a lack of sleep the past few days. went for dinner at fish and co to celebrateee. (it was like the only empty place this friday night pfft) more celebration tmr yayyyyyy. and back to sr on friday to give more thanks to everyone there! and to give the sharing to the council apprentices (all 60 plus of them omg)
SOYEAH from now on, its just sunshine and hearts (if you know what i mean lol) :D time to treat myself to all the stuff which i said to myself "if i do well for a levels i will get myself this." BIG THANKS AND MUCH LOVE to everyone who has supported me and been there and had faith in me when i was lacking in faith in myself. i just want to hug you and smile at you and thank you from the bottom of my heart; i'm sure you can imagine me really doing this haha. :D
so yeah, this is it. this is the comfort again. of being certain.
not to be too indulgent, but i feel this whole sense of composure and happiness.
with that said, for those who didnt reach their goals, i guess it's difficult for you now :/ and you need time alone and stuff, (cos personally i'd hate people asking me how i did and trying to talk to me) i'll leave you with a quote that i find quite powerful;
“Nothing in life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.” -Ellen Glasgow
and a huggg (: everything will work out. (and i cannot emphasis on this more) (i mean, yeah its easier said than done, but you will overcome it to be better.)
it's all going to be okay. i'm telling myself this now.
is devastation something you can prepare yourself for? i really dont know, i mean, you hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
but can you ever really prepare for the worst? it's a totally different thing when you actually face it altogether. major case of easier-said-than-done.
so anyways, i'm really trying to keep it in right now, gonna be leaving the house soon, and from then on, insecurity's free to ride on any thought (i hate this idea) i also dislike being left hanging like this. certainty is the comfort i've been living with.
i never really realised this till NOW.
CERTAINTY IS A COMFORT. ITS A LUXURY.
living in uncertainty, being unsure of how things will turn out, and having to deal with that. it's not something i could do everyday. could anyone?
but then again, i guess you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that whatever happens, its not the worst thing on earth. you can still come around. so for now, numb yourself.
i need to put my trust in God.
James 1:6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
i will be fine. i will be fine. i will be fine.
blog abt today when i'm in a better state of mind.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
this feeling, of waiting for results on friday, its like anxiety, fear, paranoia, breathlessness, insomnia, and a million times telling yourself not to worry but you know beneath it all, that's all you freaking freaking care about, thats all you need to know to be okay. you wont be able to get over it till you get your results back. and when that happens, you have to worry about how your results have turned out and fuck thats something new altogether. OKAY I NEED TO BREATHE.
today was extremely eventful (you dont know the half of it)
and because i feel like sleeping, this is going to be quick.
woke up, searched high and low for my retainer- to no avail. sigh.
trained to ps for kfc breakfast. awesome am twister and tea. walked to 313 picked up the heels :D awesome $20 discount plus, 5% :D trained to sgh to visit the grandfather
left hospital at 2, trained to vivo for lunch and coffee :D walked around, eyed some books from page one- tim burton's mysterious story of oyster boy (MUST GET THIS) and for love and money; this awesome graphic design book. told myself, wait till after FRIDAY (it deserves to be in caps)
then i decided to train to the cousin's place to play with them :D stayed for pizza dinner :D played catching with the two adorables. and hide and seek (in total darkness with a torch light) (cant wait to have my own kids, but tiring much) i think i burned more calories playing with them then walking around shopping lol.
made more progress here and there today (the kind of progress that makes you want to grin from ear to ear like an idiot, but makes you end up biting your lip cos you realise you're on the mrt looking at your hp and smiling away to yourself)
got home late, took photos of the new babies -grins then here i am :D dont think i have work in the morning, but i still feel like waking up early cos this is the sort of silly thing that being happy does to you. and by happy i think i kind of mean, in love okaaay i should be sleeping by 1130 as usual... looking forward to dinner with the clique tmr (:
hello to the awesomeness that i can now walk on (: this is not as major as A level results, but i'm taller than my mum in those babies. HOHO.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
ah i'm so excited bout the heels tmr !!! i cant sleep lol kayyyy i need to wake up early to get to the store right when it opens hehe (like who on earth shops at 1030am right)
okay i should sleep by 1130. i think You are the only exception by Paramore is making me suddenly very happy for some funny reason. i guess i just have yet to really realise why yet. or i'm living in some sort of denial because i cant grasp how this is happening and yet, i can and i havent felt this happiness in awhile. it feels, different. and i like how it's going.
i cant wait to get the awesome heels tmr :D and kfc breakfast too. :D happy much.
i love this! it's all so pretty.
i was thinking of my age timeline and this is how it works out (IDEALLY)
19 graduate from jc, get into uni
23 graduate from uni, start working with a stable job
28 get married and start a family till 33.
that's pretty much the ideal plan i've always had in mind, and it means that i'm just 9 years from finding a suitable husband. i mean NINE YEARS. it's less than the number of years i've been studying (from pri to sec to jc)
and to get married by 28, it means you have to have had some prior dating of more than two years. so its actually less than nine years.
it all sounds pretty daunting and sometimes i ought to slap myself for being such an idealist, when i should instead be a realist, but i mean, those are my plans. i like the idea of knowing how things are going to work out, but at the rate things are going, i realised that i'm in trouble man. i'm not close to realising those long term goals.
i mean, i'm 19, i cant imagine getting a stable job! to me, it's just, doing the same thing everyday, which sounds like a big yawn ! and i'm not in a good comfortable relationship at the moment, how to get married by 2019. i mean, i dont want to marry a guy i've been dating only for two or three years. it has to be long enough for me to know him and vice versa i dont want to end up having a divorce because i didnt know him well enough..
then again, there's the anti thesis to that, i know; people change and even if i knew him, he might end up changing or smth.
but ah, all these thoughts seem so significant and life changing and i cant seem to grasp all these now. i guess, at the end of the day i should just take ONE STEP AT A TIME. and see how things go. focusing on getting to a uni first. (and even this sounds daunting enough)
todayyyyyyyyyyy
woke up at 930, to an sms saying that i need to be in office at 945! rushed there and reached at 10 (: (and i didnt need to cab yay for proximity)
worked on kota iskandar project stuff till 4 plus, then headed home and here i am now (:
been busy the whole time, barely tweeted even lol (:
looking forward to getting my heels from New Look tmr morning (YAY OMG) then i will prolly head to ps before or after that for my long awaited kfc breakfast (:
soooo things are looking good now, but once in awhile you hint at things that i'm not quite sure they're for this context and i dont want to trouble you so yeah :S i guess, give & take.
Monday, March 01, 2010
met amanda today in an attempt to try to get my mind off results, after sleeping and working most of the day away. it was good :D
after not eating a thing the whole day, we shared rosti with smoked salmon, and a banana creme bulee crepe (: it was soooo yummy :D
then we shopped around, i got a necklace from F21 which i really liked :D first buy following an accessory hiatus lol. :D
then we went to New Look and that's when i came across the nicest pair of heels ever. i'm not usually a fan of high, high heels, but this pair is an exception. from when i tried it on, i new i had to own them hehe.
after spotting a pair on discount, the supernice saleswoman told me that the pair i was wearing would be on sale on wed !!! she helped me reserve the pair too. so all i gotta do is collect them at a discounted price on wednesday. haha she said they look nice on me cos my feet are small (i'm the smallest size there and i'm usually a big size lol) and she said people with big feet look like dinosaurs wearing that heel. HAHAHA so cute.
so yay i cant wait till wednesday omg. they're really very pretty and damn high la. highest pair i'll own lol :D but yeah i was super happy upon reserving the pair. yay yay yay. cant wait for wednesday now :D aha it made the trip to new look worth enduring the smell there that clings to my hair everytime pfft.
the guys clothes're also damn cute :D lol.
okaaaay i shall sleep early so that i will wake up early, and not end up sleeping the day away, like today lol.
You know like how just before winter, all the autumn leaves are swept into a nice pile, a level results release is like, a big wind just blowing the leaves into a big mess. you dont know where you're going to end up, but if you look at the big picture, everything's just unsettled.
(fuck) i'm really damnnnn anxious. i'm sure everyone is. i mean, TWO YEARS of jc life boils down to this. so yeah, who wouldnt be freaking out. i think i'm so anxious i'm going to lose my apetite for the rest of the week. FREAK FREAK FREAK.
this reaction prolly indicates that i'm prolly not going to be able to do anything properly the next few days. A levels is like the biggest thing that can make or break my life right now, seriously. like dead seriously. THIS IS GOING TO BE MY QUOTE FOR THE WEEK.
“Nothing in life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.” -Ellen Glasgow
SO NOW THAT IT'S THE LAST FEW DAYS OF ENJOYING FREEDOM, WITHOUT THE RELEASE YET, I AM GOING TO TREAT MYSELF TO SOMETHING GOOD. So that i can remind myself that, no matter what i get on friday, i know i did my best and even if it's not good enough, i'll make it through. i'll make it through.