so promos are over and i had to go for pw right after. and yea. i was in a piss-y mood for almost all of today.
yes i am relieved that promos are over. but you know what. truth is, things dont end for me. its just the start of smth new. and sometimes i whine about it(like now) but really, its just how my life goes. and on emo, feel bad days, it gets to me.
i am not in a very promos-are-over mood right now. so yea. its been raining and that sucks. cos it means no beach. and if it rains tmr i might just explode. cos tmr's going to be my feel good and be alone day. and i need that so fucking bad. cos i've been so worked up with problems, so stressed with promos and so screwed up in dealing with everything.
i just want to run from everything. and hide away. yea i know i'm emo.
i'll be okay.
and i wanna watch a walk to remember with you again. make it happen and babylon a.d. cos the week before, everything with you was perfect. and i was happier than i've been in a long time, really.
Monday, September 29, 2008
You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.
You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness.
this is a more light hearted post because i'm just home from studying alone at the united square starbucks and it was productive and good and i feel refreshed. didnt think i could study alone, but it was productive ! :D
i also lost quite a bit of weight recently, wish makes me happier.
oh and i think its funny when your family adds you on facebook and its like 'click to add friend' haha.
anyways apart from the happystuff, i have a headache. i suspect its from the subzero temp in starbucks, and cos of the rain. and cos i havent been drinking enough water but yea (:
dont look back, got a new direction.
so i'm done with geog. so i guess nine marks for the limits to growth model is screwed, four pages for 3b better compensate. i am alone now and i feel independent. at the same time, i feel like i'm wandering. cos i cant get what i wanted. and now i dont know what i want. i guess i'll stick with things the way they are. going out to study for art. i hope i can concentrate.
sometimes i think i screw up on myself. so yea i'm pretty lost.
orientation planning is coming and i cant afford to be lost. so time to drive my focus. i wanna go to the beach on wednesday.
anyways this video kinda matches my mood.
i'm sorry.
thank you amanda, joan, lewis, nevin, jason, nadiah, gina, sarah, tingyi, laura, jon and jonas. for being there. love you all.
i am lost.
what i wanted is out of reach. what i lost, is lost. all else in between is mixed up and confusing.
i cant wait for promos to be over. i.need.a.break.fucking.badly.
so much for sacrifices so much for dreams so much for wishes so much for change so much for happiness so much for smiles so much for effort so much for feelings so much for care so much for thoughts so much for needs so much for wants so much for being special so much for waiting so much for words so much for saying so much for promises so much for love
crushed.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
okay now i feel so sick, screwed up. i feel so lost alone confused mixed up. things arent going right. everythings confusing. everything. is. confusing. how come i cant get things right. its me. fuck. and now i just want to make my heart lighter. i havent been eating properly. i havent been doing anything right. i just want to hide away in someplace comforting. till i'm numb. my thoughts are in a mess. and i have geog tmr. so i guess all i can do is channel my problems away. until i can think about them. i keep telling myself i can get through this. sometimes i wonder if the only reason why i'm doing that is because i really want to be alright. storms make trees take deeper roots. this time again i made my own storm, i always make my own storm. i guess that makes me the screwed up one. i didnt get this right from the start. it was a mistake i made. i'm sorry for taking so long to realise that i made a mistake. i guess its ironic that you had to pay for a mistake that i made. i made a change in your life. i hope things wont change with you. though its pretty inevitable and i know that they will. i guess now i just need a shoulder. a ear. and i need to study. forget it. why is forgetting so hard. why. what happened.i'm sorry i let go.
what happened.
but its over now. Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts? Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts. So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess, And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
this song again. breakable.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
and one more thing,
you made my day.
(:
a hundred things of tic-tacs in your mailbox.
today i learnt how to play taiti(or however you spell it) and won it a couple of times ;) let a dog sit really near me watched juno was happy forgot to bring my wallet out got a free fruit cos an old man offered to pay for it wore a dress to church could reach all the high notes from panis angelicus and be thou my vision went to su anne's house ate dinner felt like painting my nails black feel like promos are over feel like i needa study more because i feel like promos are over need to catch up on zzz.
When all the love feels gone And you cant carry on Dont worry, girl Imma take it from here
Friday, September 26, 2008
storms make trees take deeper roots.
i am lost. i am lost. i am lost.
at the same time, i'm here for you. and that's where i needa be.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
one pair of candy lips & your bubblegum tongue.
today was goood.
thats about everything (:
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
song of the day: Crush by David Archuleta.
and i really kinda like this song.
the words are meaningful.
I hung up the phone tonight Something happened for the first time deep inside It was a rush, what a rush
'Cause the possibility That you would ever feel the same way about me It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone All that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do? 'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away But I know this crush ain't goin' away Goin' away
Has it ever crossed your mind When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends? Is there more, is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take 'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you're all alone All that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do? 'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away But I know this crush ain't goin' away Goin' away
Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized And I've just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone All that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do? 'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away But I know this crush ain't goin' away This crush ain't goin' away
psst, secret.
the whine master speaks. okay i am so tired from mugging geog and looking through the revision lecture slides. the bulging toe from a slump reminds me of pizzahut. and ah i am so sleepsleepsleepy i wanna fall asleep on the couch cos i dont have to open a door to get there. yawns, good night ! yay three more papers only. so fast so fast.
;because this is the colour of secrets.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts? Just a cage of rib bones and some other various parts. So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess, And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
Friday, September 19, 2008
today was pretty awesome (:
studying's coming along well too..
happy (:
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
studying is killing me. it doesnt help that i'm feeling like crap.
its not a good time for me to be cynical about persevering, its not like me anyways and i'm prolly just moodswinging.. so-
Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination. (:
So to all JC1s who're taking their promos next week, study hard and give nothing short of your best, really. cos anything short of your best and there'll be a price to pay.
and though you might not admit it, you'll regret it. and things, they wont be the same.
so to all my friends, esp those from 1A04, study hard okay. class wont be the same without you guys. and i really really mean that. sighs. and sometimes you have no idea how much i feel scared for you. scared that you, you, you or you will retain.
if i could study the load for you. i really would.
thats from my heart to yours.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
rainbows and butterflies.
its 9.39pm and i wanna do smth sweet for andrew (:
this weekend has been pretty productive (: studied everyday since thursday. intensively. covered quite a bit of geog, econs and perhaps a little art. still have quite a lot left to cover though :/ i feel the pressure !
and so i've stepped up on the mugging ! have to make it (:
oh and today my new bag got a blue highlighter stain ): bleach couldnt remove it. oh wells (:
Saturday, September 13, 2008
everything's so blurry.
taking a break from choir today. cos i'm still on medication for my cold and cough. and my throat needs a break, honestly.
been studying for promos alone at night (: at my favourite study venue (: its cold, but not so cold. comfyyy and quiet, and it makes me feel like studying.
one day though, i wanna go there with you (: and not study. haha.
love you and i miss you! you are too cute all the time ! "did you __?" "No.""Okay i lied, yes!""How'd you know!?" "I'm good" :D haha see. you're too cute for me to get mad at even! HAHA (:
love you.
Friday, September 12, 2008
its a sweet feeling.
somehow (:
sighs a really happy and happy sigh.
friendships echo candles.
only sometimes, they never burn out.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
yay!
i am a happy girl today because
1. I slept early and woke up late
2. I caught some more sleep in school
3. Studying out at night alone was very productive ! ( and i didnt need coffee)
4. I edited my EoM and reached exactly 600 words.
5. It's only 11.20pm
6. I already took my medicine
7. I can call andrew later
8. Tmr's a late starting day
(:
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
today i went to see a doctor cos i've got a month old flu. more medicine, oh joyyy.
went back to school for the dialogue with minister heng.
(: watched andrew play soccer today :D proud of him. and then sent him homeeee. (:
home now, and i'm sleepy ): gonna take my med and sleep.
All my life, I'll be with you forever To get you through the day And make everything okay
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
finally time to catch some zzz. i'm off to la la land.
yawns.
3:43AM
Monday, September 08, 2008
i am so tired. slept late ytd. and i couldnt sleep. today, its practically the same again wth.
how am i supposed to sustain this till promos. i dont even have the time to study after school cos i'm so shagged. my eyebags are omgxcz crazily bad. the whole hols i've had to wake up early cos of work alone, and sleep late. wtf la. and i didnt even study THAT much.
and so now i feel shitty sleepy sian tired irrritated frustrated lousy busy busy busy stupid alone.
sometime i guess a little encouragement'd help.
i have my art structured essay, one sketch to edit, one colour pencil sketch to do. and all the ideation and development to annonate. WTF. i majorly dislike this.
cant sleep :/ i miss youuuuu. see you in a few hours.. love much.
sleepygirl91@hotmail.com
i'm not usually awake past two am. hence the eyebags. lucky there's no econs lecture tmr. or else i'll be fighting to keep awake.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
ALL MY PHOTOS ARE PRINTED YAY (:
and so now, all i needa do is four observational sketches. good luck samantha...
omg i dont look like me hehhh!
(:
thanks gina :D
i'm yours (:
love youuuu !
Saturday, September 06, 2008
today was fun :D i'll let the photos do the talking later. i'll upload them late late later when i'm free free free-er. cos i'm chionging art.
killer art, here i come!
Friday, September 05, 2008
i just realised that i havent had a blog post about general things in ages. i mean. i havent blogged about smth substantial. my post are like all about things that happen. the surface things. and i guess i need to think deeper, eventhough some may argue that i think too much. but yea.
anyways i've been thinking about life recently. and how alot of people are frustrated, or sian with life. esp the jc kids. and i guess it affects me.
being a pretty optimisic person. it's sad when people are troubled. anyways. the best piece of advice i can give is -
things'll pull through. a lot of times, things in life dont go our way. and the bravest thing to do, is to stand up again and do continue to do our best.
sometimes its true, the best isnt enough for us to succeed.
but thats really okay. because you know you tried your best. and sometimes, knowing that you did what you could is good enough. cos regret and pity doesnt create or compensate for success anyways.
apart from that, you'll come out stronger. alot of people may think that life's pretty swell for me. it isnt really, and it was way worst before.
i had a really rough patch during the first quarter of the year. but things're going great now. and i'm not bragging. i'm just saying that, if you stick with it, you'll pull through.
after all, when things can get any worst, they'll get better.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
significant happenings of today.
econs class, talked to les, walked out of school with andrew, studied at novena starbucks, met shirin, jannah, amanda, teow and mad for dinner at newyorknewyork @ citylink.
the update date was good. had so so so much fun. we got high on the cotton candy, esp swah lol. i'll let the photos speak for themselves when i get them from swah (:
we made beards and all sorts of art-y stuff out of the multitudes of cotton candy. and when we were done, we either ate, or dissolved it all :P it was so hilarious. we're gonna get abs from laughing.
we stayed there from around SIX to almost TEN. that's like almost four hours :O i had fried mars bars :D haha, keith's fault for letting me try his that day! anyways yea (: after all the food we got really high on the green apple flavoured cotton candy :D teehee. cant wait for the unglam photos :P
i will repost :D love you (:
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Thanks for sharing!
So i've been listening to the MIDI for Rise up Shepherd, and i quite like the song (: i like Os Justi too though.
anyways i havent OFFICIALLY started studying yet. which is like, ah wtf-ish! so yea :/// i feel the self exerted pressure now! i am going out to study tmr (: alone prolly cos that's when i'm most productive. and i really really really need to be heh.
apart from that, my sweetheart of a boyfriend came to send me to school in the morning! :D super super super sweet. sighs :D motivation enought to chiong outta the house, considering that i woke up at 0830 and needed to be in school at 0900. LOL. and it was for PW (bleah)
and then i had the art thingy after school. he bought sarah and i lunch cos we didnt have time. so awwwwwwww.
and after spending awhile at SAM, i felt really sick, and dizzy. and like queasy.
boyfriend came all the way to SAM to pick me up and accompany me home. isnt he the sweeeeeeetest ever. sighs.
mummy was really sweet too, cos i said i felt like eating the beef goulash from the soup spoon so she bought for me and passed it to me before going for her class at the building next to SAM.
so andrew met my mummy today :D teehee. and he bused with me for the whole long long long ride home eventhough he could've just gone home from school plus he was hungry.
sighs. people generally tend to say that he's a really lucky guy, but i think thats unfair cos, truth is, i'm a really really lucky girl :]
and i love you too :D
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
love you long time.
today was okay. science centre was fun with andrew, haha. the ice block was funny.
followed nevin with keith and andrew to town to get a bag for his friend's bday. i wanna go shopping properly heh. felt shitty on the whole way home cos like andrew was so late and it was my fault.
felt like crap. talked things out.
now i'm on the comp, eating a hot fudge sundae that's cold and looking for someone to help me print my EOM which i have really no mood to edit. Any takers?
edit: yay thank you sarah you rock :D
Monday, September 01, 2008
today i feel ugly.
this is a very boring rendition of what happened today. yes i am in a bad mood because i am sick and i am still going to do my gp essay after this.
i woke up early, rushed to school. rushed home. took a half an hour nap, left the house to meet sarah. reached city hall, headed to river island, got my bag (: went to Topshop, sarah posed with the mannequins, i took photos. walked around somemore, went to starbucks for a drink, went to subway cos sarah wanted to cookie, walked around headed to citylink, walk around somemore. then i had to leave to meet my family so i said bye sarah!! and left (: met my family for dinner, then trained home. i had a tummy ache ): felt really sick. andrew called and talked to me the whole way home though (: so i felt better but still sick.
anyways i have to do my gp essay, i am very tired. so the faster i get off the comp, the faster i get the essay done. so bye. nights. and enjoy the hols, heh.
yea i think i am in a bad mood for some unknown reason.