i miss scip. it's like i'm suddenly un-busy, yes it's the scip's-over syndrome ):
i miss scip. it's been loads of fun. it's been work and work and work. and play and play and play. and it's been late meetings and dinners at table 92.
it's been fulfilling. i've gained so many friendships that i'll never let go of.
it's been more than a programme, it's been a journey. from here, all the way to there. scip's the journey, from preparation, all the way to the zenith.
scip has made me grow. it's been like water, somewhat (: and encouragement, fertilizer.
sighs. it really is letting go of three things at once.
you asked me, what's it like to be sad?
to me, feeling sad is; looking down, feeling down, being down. Sort of feeling hopeless. like watching a drop of magenta paint, swirl; slowly into a cup of water. pointless, yet you still watch.
it's like looking up at the sky, when it's too cloudy or too clear. and wishing when you know your wishes are wasted, it's crying inside and outside, until you cant take it.
feeling sad is when you really cant smile. even if the person who always makes you smile is right by you. it's realising that feeling like dying is worst than dying.
it's talking, and thinking, trying to dissolve your troubles in rainwater. and yet, never really talking and thinking; it's raining though.
it's close to feeling numb, it's knowing that you cant listen to your heart. and so, you feel sad-
because reason and practicality and logic, and your best interests speak louder than your heart.
and me, well, i hate that.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
HAPPY LEAP DAY !
Today comes once in every four years, and i'm alone.
Kinda a killjoy thinking bout it, so i shouldnt.
Anyways, i spent most of today in the Students' Activity Centre (: so i sat in the same chair, from 9.30am - 12.30pm. LOL. and mostly slacked.
I had my tuna puff and ice milk tea for breakfast YAY!
and yea, SLACKED.. i wanted to make econs notes, and be ahead of the lectures. But i figured if i did that, i'd be even more bored during econs lectures. cos they're already not fast, so yea. I slacked. LOL.
Then this guy, Edwin, came to our table to show us some card tricks. He's amazing omg. kinda freaked me, christine and bill out a little but he's really good with the cards.
HAHA, before i knew it, it was time to go homeeee, and here i am yup.
I dont really know what else to blog about, so i guess this post is really dry.
Hmm, i'll leave you with a song, from my favourite animation movie EVER, Quest for Camelot.
Because this song has been stuck in my head (: give it a listen..
and this song, well (: i've always liked this song.. it's a nice song to sing in the shower, hahaha.(random!)
and omg, this is totally random, but i decided to search Princess Starla and The Jewel Riders. It's this cartoon that i used to watch when i was in kindergarten ! and they have it on youtube :D haha, i've been searching for ages (: (: i'm all amiley now (:
Yesterday, today and two days before.
AH, i havent blogged properly in so long, since i've the time now, i guess it's time to get back into the habit of blogging (: I was kinda (VERY) bored during H1 math lecture (oh btw, i'm taking geog, art and econs at h2, and math at h1) so i came up with a list of significant stuff to blog about (:
happy reading ! (i predict this is gonna be a long post, well, at least in comparison to the previous posts)
26th February 2008 Angel and mortal outing ! was a happy happy happy day, and this is the colour of the tee i wore, HAHA. (: met marcus and chiaps at the bus stop near bedok mrt -they took a long long time to leave the school bus stop for a ver funny reason. they were both waiting for each other, unknowingly, haha. so anyways, they came, and we left for Safra Tampines ! Chiaps and i had nooo idea where it was, but marcus knew, haha, of course.
he almost killed us on the way with his killer lame question. haha. we bowled two games while waiting for eugene, jon and zhong ting to come from eugene's house. chiaps won both games ! aha, marcus started to entertain us with his kungfu story, and when it came to the end of the story, i owed him a flick ! tsk. eugene, jon and zhong ting came soon after and they played air hockey for awhile, then we played two games of pool on two separate tables. haha, pool was fun. Laughed alot, and got laughed at alot. haha.
then after two games (or was it three) we decided we were HUNGRY, so we walked to tm for dinner!
had a little trouble deciding where to eat, but we ended up at Fish&Co. had the usual (: dinner was crazy. the dumb test, long stories, family stories and random moments of realisations. haha, we're a funny bunch. funny how we click easily, just cos of the angel-mortal game, kinda cool too. cos it's pretty much coincidence how we all met. and sad that some of us arent in tj :/ but distance and time are relative ! (: and no, i'm not just telling myself that. i believe that (:
headed to some shelter thingy after a looong dinner and eugene played his guitar while we sang and emo-ed. zt left for home first, while we stayed on (: it wasnt long before we had to go home cos it was pretty late, ten plus? yeaaa. trained home with jon, chiaps, clare and eugene.
felt emo, credits to eugene's superb guitar playing, jon and clare's singing and a few smses i received (: yeaaaa. But the day was a happy day ! (:
oh, and Hopson the bunny and Sam the Carebear got a surprise new friend today (: Angel ! from my angel, haha. they're the cutest trio ever. :D
27th February 2008 today was an extremely eventful day. headed to tj after sr, had waffles ! yummy-ness.
and chilled with CG 30/08 (: and SCIP people (: helped try to get the flour stains off the netball court with lemon, but it was crazily hard :/
sat on the stands (haha, SAT on the STANDs) emo-ed :/ i keep feeling the same feeling, which is really hard. cos the whole problem's hard. though i guess, i just dont like the only solution.
stayed super late talking to jon. until zt finished floorball training even. headed opposite, would've had dessert, but like, the hawker centre was all closed :/
yeaaa, sat at the bus stop with zt and jon. they both heard me out alot. and it was pretty late- considering that we all hadnt had dinner yet. i felt sooo screwed up.
but i guess, i got a hold of myself in the end. the night was rough, but i made it through, i'm a happy girl now (:
i owe so much to you guys (: thanks so much for hearing me out, i'm sorry if i made you feel like i was whining. i'm blessed to have friends like you.. (:
Finally, TODAY ! Had an interesting GP lecture today (: he showed us Maslow's hierarchy of needs. which i found pretty apt. haha, yea. anyways, during break i had a tuna puff and ice milk tea (: which was a really yummy combination, haha.
(i'm random, yes)
and in the morning today, we had a talk by the principal about secularism. i didnt quite agree with what he said. something along the lines of like, if you wear a religious item, it's like trying to overwrite the education systems idea of secularism. the way he said it was kinda like that like, God had to listen to MOE or smth.. maybe it just didnt come out right the way he said it and i misinterpreted it, but yea. it seemed like that, TO ME.
yup, came home after school, i shall not complain bout how boring our h1 math lecture was, and how slow moving our econs lecture was.
and i'm here blogging now (:
RANDOM photos now- enjoy (:
30/08's timetable (: with the many many long breaks in between.
TJ supports Singapore's bid for the YOG (: and yay, we won! 30/08's chalk drawing on the pathway to LT2! It looks so powerpuff girls, haha.
The last SCIP EXCO 2008 (: i miss you guys !
My birthday cakeeee (: it was a really sweet thing ! Thanks so much everyone (:
SCIP DOODLES on the whiteboard in The Innospace, yayyy (: haha, i'm the sticker girl. LOL.
FILMING CREW FROM E! COMM and THE NEW CLANMASTERS (: filming at Suntec was a blast (: LOADS of FUN (:
just came home from SRJC (: heading out for angel and mortal bowling and dinner outing now.
(: ming jing and winifred will prolly be very happy that the friendship day angel and mortal game worked really well for half of 30/08 and 4A'07! Hanging out with them makes me feel happy, and happier.
other than that, it's a really cold and windy day :/ better remember to take my jacket.
ps. I'm still as random as ever, I am still SAM (:
lets a girl run his life by always keeping quiet, accepting stuff and letting her have her way, and still finds it hard to let go properly
is it that hard for you to take a step back, and give others a chance to have a better relationship with you, instead of always being so quick to find something to defend yourself with ?
Dont quote me on your skin anymore, please.
truth is, i can live without you. I WAS WRONG ALL ALONG.
i wont get made at you if you change your blogskin, i wont say you hurt me if you take my name or whatever else us related away from your blog. i wont throw up a big fuss about your posts. to me at least, you're not you anymore.
you dont know what's going on in my life. so dont assume anything, or whatever. i have my reasons forSHUTTING YOU OUT.
just move on, the whole time between posting and now, you've been HAPPY. HAPPY when you hang out with your friends, and all else in between. and i'm letting you be happy !
i'm telling you now, I DONT CARE IF I'M NOT THE ONE MAKING YOU HAPPY.
I'm sick and tired of doing things for you. You think you're too good for me. You said i dont deserve you, go ahead and assume that you're right, because right now,
I DONT CARE.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
ignore the past. new skin (:
(: tjc has been my life. my heart is there.
now that i'm posted to srjc, i have to leave tj behind. but i have alot to say. so many to thank. for so so many reasons. here goes.
Thank you Joshua, for making me really so much stronger. for listening to my troubles, for giving me such priceless advice. for sharing with me so much. i'm sorry if i ever made you feel burdened with my problems. i really owe you so much for helping me out with my troubles. i'll hold true to my promise (:
Thank you Cadence, for always being there for me. You really are my mentor. You make me smile in so many ways (: You make me feel that i'm the best i could ever be. Thank you for all your words of encouragement. They've really gone a long way in keeping me strong, in reminding me who i am, and what i can do. Thank you for believing in me, and making me feel loved. You make me feel more than special. Your support was my driving force. You've made an impact on me. You're an awesome girl, i'll never forget you.
Thank you Zhong Ting, for being my angel, really. For hearing me out everytime. Whether i had something retarded and extremely random to tell you, or whether it was to just sigh repeatedly. i appreciate that you take the time to listen to my troubles, all the light hearted moments and everything, you might not know but they make me feel so much better. knowing that you've been through the same situation somehow makes me feel less alone. I'm glad to have an angel, a friend, and a big brother like you.
Thank you Melanie. You really touched my heart; when you said your day crashed when i got my results. You make me feel like an important part of your life. I'm really glad to be your friend. It really makes me feel a whole big lot better when i share my troubles with you. It's great to have someone i can share feelings regarding situations with. You always make me feel accompanied; i appreciate it. Thank you for being a really great friend.
