i have found an illustrator on deviantart who is so damn awesome.
i wanna be like that.
after the finale of desperate housewives season 6,
i really hope that mike and susan get married again.
I’m no skeptic,
But very frankly I’m afraid to love sometimes.
GP discussion on Euthanasia today drew parallels within me wrt loving.
In that is hard to comprehend, hard to tie logic to,
And extremely hard to make a stand safely.
Loving someone takes a lot, sacrifices to be precise.
And there is always a risk.
There is always a risk that
It isn’t reciprocated at all.
Its not thoroughly appreciated
It will die out
These risks are always apparent when we choose to love someone in a relationship.
I’m not blogging about this cos I’m unstable or doubtful,
More of just, thinking and trying to look at this from a more holistic (and by this I mean long term) perspective.
More than a half a year and going,
Love IS about risks, yes.
And I guess that’s how it goes.
In ways, love is both a celebration and testimony of human imperfections.
It’s a celebration in that you experience the joy of accepting differences on a deep level.
And at the same time, its ironic because some moments highlight and worsen our imperfections.
At the end of the day, what I’m trying to draw at isn’t something sweet for my bf to read,
It’s a genuine viewpoint that love in a relationship between two people, lasts for as long as you bother to make it work.
Because (I’ve said this before and before) either half chooses to call it quits.
And there is always a choice, made by either one party or both.
With that said,
I guess as of late I have been feeling more sentimental and sometimes I wonder how things WOULD HAVE been like.
And I have also been wondering whether this matters.
Unfortunately, this is an apparent mystery of having love and lost(or gained),
So I guess that’s how complicated it can get.
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY SAM LOH !!!
okay so i think my blogger is kinda screwed too ! :S
(which means i have less incentive to post)
nonetheless,
today was awesome.
new shoes :D
and an awesome time with chris.
:D:D
now i need to start studying real hard since coursework is coming to an end soon :)
off to bathe.
jia you. :D
(taken by lynette)
I'm getting there.i'm not good enough, i'll try to be.
i'm not smart enough, i'll study anyways.
i dont have enough time, i'll work every minute.
people dont always get it, i'll try to make them understand.
things aren't easy, i'll tell myself i'm getting there.
i dont know what to say except
ihateitwhenwe'relikethat.
I've been bitten by the guilt bug real bad.this weekend hasnt been much of a weekend..
spent the whole of sat in school doing art,
which was good.
the third page i'm on is turning out real nice (better not speak too soon)
sixth month doesnt seem so awesome ):
(thanks to me)
but it always works out
(thanks to you)
so yeah (:
ilyvvvvvvvvvvvvvm.-hugs.
solutions problems
mismatch.
sometimes I really wonder.
chionging art.
rushing(trying to rush) econs.
revising geog.
practising math.
i should be using these phrases more.
i almost forgot what it took.
then i realised,
what i'm doing now isnt much different.
this weekend.
was crazyyy.
art and ikea and queensway occupied the whole of saturday.
(almost done with a page for art yay anddd satisfied my apple pie & prawncocktail sandwich cravings :D)
todayyyyy i woke up really tired.
then i spent the whole day out againnnn.
wasnt productive cept meeting Amanda :D
came home now,
and i'm so shagged from today.
going to bathe soon anddd then catch the Harper's Island finale (YAYYAYYAY OMG)
okaaaay after that i am going to be damn tired.
ZZZ.
(ps. i dont foresee much blogging this coming week)
good news, bad news.
so art is consuming my life,
this month.
scaryyyy.
because i have to mug for other subjects.
what i like.
is that i just need to tie some loose ends.
cover a few random stuff which i missed out for mids for geog.
(thats a good thing)
bad thing- econs.
I've got friggin a lot to study to salvage my econs grade.
art is looking alright,
have to speed up with the painting though.
AH 31st JULY dateline.
Today we had invest rehearsal anddd i was going to cry even when rehearsing my speech :S
(better get some tissue)
so anyways,
i am staying back almost every day till 9.
and i think i will be alot less tired if i dont come online unless i need Aspire II or to email work.
so yeah (:
its like four months till A's.
tonight i'm pretty hyped up for A's.
i feel like-
its the final lap.
i'm going to be sitting for A's.
Prelims are coming.
I want to study.
I want to be ready.
I'm ready to start the run to Prelims (:
:D
(good mood despite the tiredness from today)
tmr !
art lol.
andddd queensway to check some stuff.
then i wanna have my apple pie at ikea :D
before the (somewhat) hiatus,
i will do one interesting fb note :D
goodnight ! :D
Capital f.
i am not normally a whiny bitch.
but i need to rant.
so skip this but yeah.
council today was really exhausting.
it didnt help that i was alone.
since al wasnt feeling well.
and sometimes i just feel very alone in handling stuff.
like no one cares.
and i dont know if its my fault.
if it is,
even more screwed.
secondly.
i ended so damn late.
and i just wanted to go home eat and sleep.
third.
i realised,
when i left school,
that i friggin lost my geog file.
like freak.
i was supposed to file it tonight.
somehow i feel i'm become all work again.
with no time or no mood to eat.
i'm bound to lose weight.
but it isnt healthy at all.
and i dont know if i'm thinking too much about it.
but losing my file.
is like not having a grip on my life.
i cant even remember when i last had it.
where i last put it.
whether i brought it to cca.
nothing.
fuck la.
i guess its in lt2,
going by logic.
guess i'll just have to look there tmr morning.
fuck la.
its ten.
i just got home.
just did my online work.
now i have to eat dinner, bathe and sleep.
(i cant believe i'm saying this but)
i want watercolour.
and i need some understanding.cos it feels like no one gets it.not even my parents.
i need a hug.
Do you ever feel like you missed out on something,
because of the choices you made?
SRJC's 20th College Day.
(:
the ceremony went well.
so did the unveiling.
cant really say much for the dinner (:
cept that the appetizer(yayyyy cold peeled prawns-ew to the scallops-)
and the dessert(mmm strawberry sauce) was good
the lime juice wasnt really my kinda thing (thanks chrispy for the milktea :D -unglam much haha)
aaand i didnt eat much else, though i know junhong enjoyed the food haha
the company compensated for everything -big smile.
Hi ling hui, sarah, chris, hafiz, aleem, isha, kim, fatin, jun hong, mark, mr teng andmr koh!
haha, yeah those were all the people around me (:
I also bumped into Amos, Ben Mao (whoah like since damn long) and Andrew Tan (:
(:
overall, it was a good night,
with many surprises :D
thank you for everything (: ily.
and I'm realllllllllly happy (awww)
TODAY
We celebrated daddy's birthday at Tony Roma's :D
awesome ttm (of course)
(: the food was/is greatttttttt.
haha i had a drink (which is really rare)
(: Though i must say, Magharitas are really light (:
contreau and tequila and lime juice.
haha though my dad said it makes you high really fast. lol.
(I didnt get high if you're wondering haha)
then it started pouring,
so we went by Toys'r'us to get smth for Zac
thennnn we had to chiong in the rain at some parts,
before eventually reaching Orchard MRT and train-ing home.
(:
we dropped by Shop&Save so i managed to get chocolate digestives anddd deloba's
(look's like i'm turning into a biscuit junkie)
(:
so yeah, that was roughly it (:
Tmr'll have to be spent studying.
(can i say i hate hw? bleah)
anyways,
its a really cool night,
so i should be able to sleep well :)
zzzzzzzz.
todayyy was the second round of college day rehearsals (:
they weree pretty alright,
less tiring then wednesdays run (:
prolly cos there wasnt any school (:
the new blazers are awesomexcz.
though they're kinda big for me.
i also found out that we can wear smart casual to the dinner,
so i can wear a black dress, which will hopefully be less hot
(lets hope that tmr will be a cool night)
(:
I am excited for tmr,
because we have been rehearsing for this,
many, many more times than any other event i've emcee-d
(:
I am also in a good mood because i am happy
with new stuff (:
and i have smth for tmr which is going to be a nice surprise ;D
Since i reached home around 530,
i managed to go get a hair cut :D
(to men shing's delight prolly)
you should have seen the amount of hair that was cut off.
whoah, aaalot.
my head feels lighter, i prolly weigh less (lol.)
I am looking forward to tmr's dinner,
moving on from the thought of who i have to sit with (damn)
This long weekend,
is also just like a normal weekend for me -.-"
hurr.
it makes me angry sometimes
(because its unfair)
but then, its always been like that (:
so yeah.
tmrrrr i am going to look like an idiot carrying a handbag to school,
but ah whatever ! i am going for the dinner,
i aint gonna wear a dress and carry a backpack..
okay so apart from all these college day is tmr rants,
i am looking forward to stepping downnnnnnnnnnn.
okay eventhough school is at 1030am for me tmr (as compared to 8am originally hurr)
i am going to sleep early,
less i have eye bags tmr..
my long weekend,
aint a long weekend.
it's just like a normal weekend- thanks to college day rehearsals and college day.
bleah.
(: dinner and post dinner quick shopping was good today.
everything else was ):
oh and i signed up for weekly econs consultations.
which is pretty amazing.
(:
it's going to be worth it.
this post is an AH-JC2-!!! rant.
i am getting more tired.
the lessons are manageable,
its the college day rehearsals which are not very effective,
and which are draining.
its the staying back for reasons other than studying, which are TIRING.
these few days and the past week i have been awfully grumpy, angry and short tempered.
i can credit it to a number of things,
but one of it must be that being angry kind of drives me.
its not healthy, to be driven to work, by frustration.
so i'm trying to get away from that.
apart from that,
i'm just genuinely annoyed by some things i guess.
and i am increasingly more annoyed by things.
i guess by the time a levels are over,
i will be less of this,
and happier.
being in jc2 really = no life.
everyday i am staying back,
and every saturday i have art.
sooooo,
that pretty much = no time for anything else.
i just hope going for geog consultations,
maths consultations,
econs consultations helps.
as much as i dislike econs.
i gotta keep reminding myself to try i guess :/
try.
sometimes its really difficult to try
(no one said it would be easy)
but then again,
at the end of the day,
it aint an option.
so i guess, if thats the way it rolls,
i just gotta roll along with it.
until i break through the walls of A levels.
sometimes it gets tough.
and this post is kinda for me to reassure myself.
that its going to be worth it.
i think i need to be reminded of that every single day.
apart from that.
ah the anger issues,
i'll just keep it in next time i guess :S
